5. THE JEALOUS LOSER Perhaps the most scathing insult ever hurled at me in a workplace was when one of my female colleagues at my first working place told me, on the first day of my joining, that the only reason I got the job was because I was Tonga. She said it with such certitude, such single-mindedness and so much venom that I almost considered quitting. I spent the rest of that day musing over her demeaning remark. Of course i am proud of my identity. But should that be the brick and mortar for my career success? No! What happened to all those nights I had “zeroed at the gulf” (as we used to call them when you spend the whole night studying)? What about all that sweating in Siwela’s slaughter house (our colloquial name for the examination hall)? And how was it possible to decant those hard-earned grades and my arduous interview performance with such ease and contempt? What tribal portion of hemlock had so poisoned the mind of this teacher that all she could see even in the cleanest of recruitment processes was nepotism? Well, that’s the workplace for you. And that is life for you. Anytime you’re successful or experience something great in life or your career, I guarantee you that someone somewhere will doubt that you earned it the good, hard-working way. That someone somewhere is the jealous loser. That neck-twisting car you bought, that flamboyant mansion you built, those flying-colour grades you scored or that prestigious award you received – they all may have brought joy, comfort and satisfaction to you. Lest you forget, be sure there is someone out there, hating, hurting and hurtling – because of your achievement. A jealous loser will think you got that deal because you’ve got an important last name. Or that job because of your looks not your books. Or that you were nominated because your mum sits on the board. Or that you stole the money you used to go on that expensive vacation. Or that you simply got lucky (literally and figuratively). You can’t stop a jealous loser from thinking or feeling what they want and you can’t convince them out of their opinion. The only way to battle a jealous loser is to make sure they’re not right. By staying focused, working both hard and smart, remaining true to ourselves and our employers, ladies and gentlemen, we will show the jealous losers that there are still men and women out there with such integrity and personal pride that they can successfully conduct and conclude their business transactions in the board room, without going to the bedroom. DISCLAIMER: I am not suggesting that networks and connections are bad. What i am saying is that while the jealous losers are busy accusing you, wagging their tongues and gnashing their teeth over your success, use your connections and your networks to get ahead as long as you are not using them to gain dishonest and undue advantage. Do your own donkey-work. Show results. Then the jealous losers will disappear one by one. And even if they don’t disappear, by carrying yourself properly in the work place, you will deny them the satisfaction of making accurate accusations about you. Oh, if you are still wondering why my attacker was so furious, I found out later that her brother had failed the same interview I passed! (If you did not read my introductory posts on Lemons at Work 1, 2, 3 & 4 you might want to go there first so that you make a smoother connection. Tomorrow you get to read the second last in the series )
Posted on: Wed, 10 Sep 2014 07:56:32 +0000
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