5 ways to be more empathetic - 1. Stop, shhhh, and listen If you’re arguing with your partner, neighbor or child, step back for a moment and try to listen out for two things: what the other person is feeling and what they need. Give them a chance to express those feelings and needs, and even reflect back what they’ve said so they recognise that you understand them. It works to reduce the tension, both in the living room and the boardroom. Research by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, founder of Non-Violent Communication, shows that in employee-employer disputes, if both sides agree to simply repeat what the other side just said before they start speaking themselves, conflict resolution is reached 50% faster. 2. Ask your barista how her life is going A significant barrier to empathy is the stereotypes and prejudices we have about others, often due to snap judgements based on their appearance or accent. And we’re so often wrong about people. What do you really know about the life of the heavily pierced woman who delivers your mail? What’s happening in the mind of the quiet Sikh accountant who always sits by himself in the office cafeteria? A good prescription for empathic health is to have a conversation with a stranger at least once a week that gets beyond superficial talk. 3. Travel by armchair “You never really understand another person until you consider things from his point of view – until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it,” wrote Harper Lee in To Kill A Mockingbird. Reading books and watching films is a great way to take imaginative journeys into other people’s lives. To promote this kind of armchair travel, I have founded the world’s first online Empathy Library, where you can find reviews of hundreds of novels, children’s books, feature films and video shorts all on the theme of stepping into others’ shoes. 4. Look deep into your colleagues’ eyes If we want to bring the benefits of empathy to the workplace—which include better teamwork, leadership and creativity—then it’s essential to create an empathically attuned workforce with high levels of emotional intelligence. A good place to start is for empathy tests to be part of job recruitment processes. Empathy is tough to measure, but over the last twenty years psychologists have developed effective ways of doing so, such as the Reading the Mind in the Eyes Test. When shown a pair of eyes, you must choose the correct word describing the person’s emotional state – such as arrogant, annoyed, upset or terrified. Highly empathic people are skilled at this kind of emotional reading. 5. Turn a baby into a teacher The most profound and lasting way to reverse the empathy decline is to teach empathy skills in the classroom. The word’s most effective program, Roots of Empathy, began in Canada and is spreading worldwide: over half a million children have done it. How does it work? The teacher is a baby who visits a class group regularly over a year. The children sit around the baby and discuss questions: What’s she thinking? What’s she feeling? It’s a stepping stone to developing their empathic imaginations. And it works, increasing empathy levels, boosting cooperation, reducing school yard bullying and even increasing general academic attainment. Shouldn’t every child have the right to do programs like Roots of Empathy?
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 18:15:22 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015