6 years ago today I lost a best friend in my sister Julie. I was unable to go to the wake or funeral because i was hospitalized in Pittsburgh with the very illness she so bravely fought for 14 years. For several years I had no idea how much not being able to attend the services would really affect me. I was in and out of hospitals and so heavily medicated for the first 5 years she was gone, it was easier being numb. But it has been almost 11 month since I was hospitalized or heavily medicated, it made Cheryl and Julies birthdays and anniversaries of their deaths this year seem like it was the first year without them. Julie was a wonderful mother. Despite her illness from the day Emily was born, she put Emily first. She did her absolute best to follow her dialysis diet meticulously and take her meds on time. She was an inspiration to me on how to fight...and fight hard. I was asked recently why Im so focused on remembering dates for mom, Cheryl and Julie and all I can say is that for those who have lost a parent, sibling, or child, you know its not something you focus on...its something that sneaks up on you and catches you off guard. You find yourself crying for a week not knowing why until you suddenly realize that the anniversary is in 2 days and it all makes sense. Sometimes you struggle to get out of bed on those days and some years you will spend mourning them and others you will find the strength to celebrate them. I took the time to share this because its my hope that if you know of someone who deals with these types do anniversaries please, help them through mourning or celebrating their family member. You may not understand their obsession with these dates, but you can still be there for them. And for those who live with these anniversaries...my heart goes out to you for your loss. Julie, I miss you so much...I need to mourn you this year, but I promise...Ill celebrate you next year!
Posted on: Sat, 19 Oct 2013 10:45:02 +0000
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