#6774 Today was such a horrible day for me. It was like all my dreams were crashing down. I am applying for law school and my GPA is really good, but its definitely not the best. I cried for many hours today because Im scared I wont be accepted. Ive also had personal problems in which case I am forced to write the LSAT in this coming Feb which is pretty late (most of the law schools I have applied to accept this date). Im studying for this, but the skills are very difficult to grasp on. If I had the chance to write it earlier, I could have done retakes to get an even better mark by Feb. But because of all those problems, I couldnt. I was thinking for even going abroad but its costing too much money and getting an articling position is already difficult with Canadian law degrees, imagine a foreign one. I would rather not be in a $100,000+ debt and find myself struggling with the stigma on my degree. Today I had it, I couldnt take it anymore. I thought I was worthless, I couldnt do anything, and I guess I felt that I was good for nothing. After all that crying, I sit here and I have realized that if I dont get accepted into law school, it wont be the end of the world. I still have my degree, I can still do my masters. I can still redo the LSAT to get a significantly higher mark and try applying again next year for the 2016 intake. If I dont get in again, I can start my masters and I can work a good job until then. My dream was law, but maybe it wasnt meant for me. Just because I couldnt get into law school, it doesnt mean im not intelligent or smart in what I love to do, which is criminology related services. But until then, I cant give up on myself. However, being a brown girl, brown families will always look down upon you and that is the biggest thing Im scared of. Not my parents or immediate family, but the other families and community will tear me alive with their taunts of not being accepted into law school, not being smart enough etc. Even if they dont directly say it to my face, that is what they are going to think regardless. Sometimes I hate brown families. Sometimes I hate their ways and idiotic attitudes. Yes maybe I couldnt get into law school this year, maybe I will next year. Maybe I have some other way of being successful. Being a lawyer isnt everything in life, right? I still have a chance and I have realized I need to give it my best this year and next year, no matter what I do. I could possibly still get in, but being a brown girl in these brown family attitudes, it really does make you feel so shitty. Even though I know I shouldnt care about others and what they say, I dont want to face their nonsense. Anyways, thanks for reading guys. I know that whatever is going to happen, its going to be for the better for my own life, but I just dont want to go through these society issues.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Dec 2014 06:04:05 +0000
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