8 years ago today my wife became what I like to call “the big winner” and married me. She won a closely heated battle versus an imaginary girlfriend from the Niagara Falls area. So falling in line with the Facebook rule book, I am wishing her a happy anniversary and thanking her for 8 great years. Also, I am here to congratulate her for making it thru the Seven Year Itch unscathed. There were a few times when I was worried like the time you asked that guy at the Gap to help you in the dressing room. I don’t think he even worked there but he was so helpful. Or, the time you went to get your car washed 3 times in 1 day. Also, I’m not sure what a Slumber Party with live mannequins is but I’m pretty sure that was kosher too. Although I googled it and was blocked by my work internet browser. Still, probably okay. People may not know that we almost didn’t make it down the aisle because you refused to do the Kid N’ Play as our first dance. I could have nailed the leg lock if you would just have believed in me. I also don’t know why you banned the Husky Dog slide at our wedding. I wasn’t going to do it. I was going to make a pledge do it. (What? Still too soon?) I seriously have to admit that these 8 years have been all ups. And you know what, it’s been quite tiring. Maybe we should fight once and while, go to our separate corners, relax and think about what I did. Like the time I put on a pair of your yoga pants testing elasticity and had to call 911 to help get them off. The jaws of life are chilly, people. Or, the time I invested most of our money in a brewery that makes inorganic beer that is full of antibiotics. I really thought Feeling Good and Healing Good Beer would be a phenomenon. Think how much we would have saved in copays. It was so close to getting added to Obamacare. Or when I invested some of our money on a camera company that snaps people’s photos leaving your office bathroom if they don’t flush and posts it to their Facebook status. It would also catch the clunners, cloggers and runners. Not washing their hands is the least of our problems. Or when I invested the rest of our money on an app that tells people to stop texting while they are stopped at a green light. I now no longer care if people are texting while driving as long as we are moving. You win people. You wore me down. I do think you were a little mad when I made you go see that off Broadway play with the McGraths called “Mimes Playing Soccer”. It seemed so real and Mike is such a fan. You could almost hear the pretend ball. Or the time you caught me using the app that just sounds like a loud vacuum while you were upstairs so you didn’t think I was just sitting idle on the couch. It did drown out the kids fighting. Potato, tomato. I do so appreciate how you put up with my idiosyncrasies. You put up with my OPP problem. I sometimes feel like it’s okay to eat off other people’s plates at other tables at restaurants when service is slow. It’s a victimless crime. You were very supportive during my Slim Shady stage. Or when I would only take right turns with the kids in the car because it was safer and saved gas. You didn’t get mad when I washed your leather Coach handbag in the washing machine. It truly wasn’t retaliation for the time you sent my wallet that was still in my pants pocket thru a heavy soil wash cycle . I just didn’t “see” it in there, all by itself. I think the dryer helped. You’re welcome. I do appreciate the time you calmed me down when I was going to show those disrespectful punks at the mall my cardio boxing skills. They were very lucky their mom was there. You remained objective when I started the CT Dads blog, “How will our kids ever learn to be independent if they are not living on the street?” I was thankful you didn’t take money out of my allowance to pay for that lady’s car window I broke when I thought those teenage kids were hot in the backseat. I didn’t hear the car running nor see the mom in the front seat. Also, I’m sorry I misunderstood this past weekend when you said we were going to Pork in the Park. I did think it was weird that we were bringing the kids but I know how much you hate paying a babysitter. It was a delicious barbeque event though. Anyway, to the Big* Winner – Happy Anniversary! *when using the word “big” here, I don’t mean size but significant, number 1. And - To all our Facebook friends, if you would like to celebrate our anniversary with us, I invite you to a private concert in downtown Stamford that I have set up for my wife this Thursday featuring her favorite band, the Bare Naked Ladies. We’ll be right in Columbus Park! And when you get there, you will probably ask yourself 2 questions. Please know that the answer to both these questions is yes. Yes, those are all of our friends there and yes, you have to pay $10 to get in. The recession hit the hedge fund industry hard. The fresh air is on me. See you then. And no gifts please.
Posted on: Tue, 15 Jul 2014 17:36:44 +0000
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