82 year old Irish Vaudevelle Comedian juggler Michael Pearce: I’m not here to entertain you. What I will be doing is part of my 200 hours of community service. I once did this act at a gay 90’s party. All the men were gay and all the women were 90. I once did this act for a group of midwives and gynecologists. What a knee shop that was. I once had the great pleasure of doing this act for the westside hemorrhoid sufferers society. They gave me a standing ovation. Simon Cowel saw me do this on Britian’s Got Talent. He said this country could do with one or two people like you, he said the trouble is it’s got hundreds. This act has got a happy ending. This act I got from my father, he used to do barnyard impressions, not the animals, just the smells. He’s still making love at 84, he lives at 37. I shouldn’t be telling you all this because a few weeks ago my paddy passed away. He died in his sleep, it’s a lovely way to go really, and there was no pain, and there was no screaming and shouting like the rest of his passengers. I got this next trick from an old friend of mine named Seamus O’Malley. Now Seamus wasn’t psychic, but he knew when he was going to die, a judge told him. He thought his house was possessed by the devil, a week later it was repossessed by the Midland Bank. He went to Koalalumpa for his holidays, but when he came back he was suffering from an extremely rare tropical disease, frostbite. He had to see the doctor, the doctor said I cannot find anything wrong with you, it must be the drink. Seamus said I’ll come back when you’re sober.
Posted on: Fri, 21 Jun 2013 20:37:27 +0000