#86 Uluthando’s birthday came I bought her a cake and we sang for her I took some pictures of the birthday girl and her grandmother. Mum nonku was still around she wanted to be around for uluthando’s birthday, it was great to have her around and she left 3 days after uluthando’s birthday. xoli’s big day was 2 days away, how I wished to have had sandile around. Sne and sbahle had organised a bachelorette party to be held on Friday evening. I had already informed them that I wasn’t going to make it to the party but I was to arrive on Saturday morning for the wedding. On Friday I wen to work, worked half day, then went to do my hair and nails when I was done I went to visit sandile. For the first time since he was admitted I felt the urge to talk to him, but somehow when I had to open my mouth no words came out. There were so many things I wanted to share with him but couldn’t. I ended up just stroking his hand and and getting lost in the beeping sounds of machines. My phone beeped, I took it out of my handbag and it was a text from phumlani which read I KNOW YOU ARE GOING TO YOUR FRIEND’S WEDDING IN PMB, IF YOU LIKE I CAN GO WITH YOU. ANYWAY I HOPE YOU ARE WELL. ENJOY YOUR EVENING. I replied THANKS FOR THE OFFER BUT I WILL BE FINE. KEEP WELL “hey baby I don’t know if you can hear me or not, but I miss you. I wish you could see how pretty I look today. Tomorrow is xoli’s wedding day, so I did my hair and nails. I went for an 18 inch weave and I will have it styled tomorrow. I will take as many pictures as I can for you. The girls miss you too, sothando has been asking for you.” I felt my voice quiver, so I paused for a while to catch my breath and to calm down “she came home with a scribbled picture I thought it was the sone but she said it’s a flower for you. Please come back to us, we need you home. I know I have fallen off the praying wagon, im just hoping the Lord can hear my cries and pleas without uttering a single word. I love you, and I will come and see you tomorrow evening when I get back from the wedding.” I kissed his hand then got up and kissed his forehead “I will stay with you through the ups and the downs, I will stay with you when no one else is around and when the dark clouds arrive I will stay by your side, I know we will be fine. I will stay with you. How I wish you would sing with me baby, I love you” I squeezed his hand and then I walked out. Its unbelievable how one moment has changed our lives, how I wish it was for the good but instead it brought us so much pain and total chaos to our lives. I drove home with a heavy heart, when I got home the kids were already asleep and zodwa was studying. Her test week was coming up and I honestly don’t know what I would do without her. She became a mother to my children more than I possibly could and I will be forever grateful to her for that. Zodwa:”evening sisi, how is bhuti doing?” me:”still the same as yesterday and the day before” zodwa:”he will be ok, I know he will” me:”I know too” zodwa:”you look great” me:”thank you, have you had supper?” zodwa:”yes, sothando didn’t come back with her lunch box. Mrs Scotts said when they were driving home she was crying for bhuti” me:”ok thank you for letting me know” I left her in the lounge and went to our bedroom. Our bedroom use to be my rfavourite room in the whole house but now, it was just another room that had cold walls. I had a bath andthen went to bed. In the morning I woke up had a bath made breakfast for zodwa and the kids and I left for PMB. I got to xoli’s parents home in northdale at 08:00, all the bridesmaids were there already and they were busy with their make up and hair it was a busy festive moment filled with joy and laughter…
Posted on: Wed, 23 Jul 2014 17:09:15 +0000
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