8th December, 2014 Dear you, We fall in love with feelings every day. Because of you: -Ive fallen in love with the morning before the sun rises, in between night and day. Ive fallen for the dust swirling in the air that only appears when the beam of morning sunlight falls through the window. Ive learned to love being stretched out, skin taught, basking under the sun until it lulls me back to sleep. Ive fallen in love with reading a book on the beach, with the rest of the world spinning around me, each person absorbed in his/her own path. Ive fallen for the silence of nature in summer, slender trees whispering around me. We fall in love with things too. Because of you: -I fell in love with the touch of cloth on my fingertips, the feeling of good, thick paper, the smell of new books, and of freshly mowed grass in the garden. I fell in love with the curves of my violin, with its deep, swirling grain, and the willowy sway of the bow. I love the flour dusted over a rolling pin and the pinches of pie crust. I fell in love and learned how to smile when I am caught in the middle of traffic at EDSA, even if opening the window would mean me inhaling fresh pollution. I fell in love with the sand at the beach, and the feeling as it clings as I squirm my feet on it. I fell in love with the sun as I watch it set from afar, bringing with it the promise of a new day. We fall in love with the words that people craft. Because of you: I first fell in love with stories with simple morals, and then poems with delightful, breathless pauses. Then I learned to love metaphors that drop as deep in meaning as one is willing to dive. I fell in love with the perfect diction choices, and the changes in syntax from different writers. Words beat in rhythm with my heart as they remind me of you. But to fall in love with another living, breathing person like you? Boys tend to change and feel and hide what they mean. To have a crush and fall in love with someone like you is to fall in love with a million things at once: the strands of hair that always fall out of a ponytail, the moments leading up to a smile, the way you prop your head when youre not quite in reality. To fall in love with you is to fall in love with feelings and things and words all at once. With you, I realized that it is truly a lovely thing to be in love. Wala lang, that was only an intro. But here it goes… (Please do not freak out yet, until you’ve finished.) You are so beautiful that it hurts. There’s just something about you that makes my heart flutter. I’ve been nursing a soft spot for you for quite a long time now, and so finally, a few weeks ago, I mustered the courage the add you here in Facebook. Actually, this was supposed to be a handwritten letter. But yeah, I guess I never found the strength to give it to you personally. That would have been the proper thing to do, but I was too scared. When I learned that we were moving to the US, I’ve decided to give this thing a go, it’s now or never. What else have I to lose? It was your looks that first captured me, but it’s not only that. From what I know, youre smart, funny, talented, and so much more. I cannot even begin to express what I feel. Your eyes are just so warm. The way your hair falls in your eyes, the way you smile and so much more. All of these little details. I know I might sound a little bit like a stalker, but don’t worry, I’m completely harmless. I’m just like any other guy who has a crush on the prettiest girl he has ever laid his eyes on. I know that all Ill ever be able to do is stare from a distance. You deserve so much happiness and success in this world. So much that Ill never be able to give. You know the funny thing is, I dont know how to direct this. My thoughts are scattered, my brain is mush, I am reduced to nothing. So pardon me if this letter doesn’t really make any sense. What you do to me, you have now come to know (as stated above). Before I sent you this, I have already accepted the possibilities of what might happen next. I might be “seen-zoned”, or unfriended and blocked here in Facebook. I am ready to accept those things. But I have waited quite a long time for this revelation, and what matters most to me now is for you to know that somewhere out there, you are admired by somebody in this world. As the mushy saying goes, “to the world you might just be one person, but to one person you might just be his world.” I know it’s corny. I hope, maybe, one day Ill be able to call you my friend. But for now, you are the sun and I am the moon. We really never cross paths, and when we do, in a mere flash its over. 王福壽 (This is my real Chinese name) - California boy, SOM, 2017
Posted on: Wed, 31 Dec 2014 13:51:47 +0000
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