9/11/14 THIS WEEK WITH YOUR FACEBOOK PASTOR (Thursday) (I have a couple of additional thoughts on the subject of forgiveness. Today, I am burdened by so much abuse of women by men. Brothers, this is not manly!!!! You are less than a man when you abuse women or children!) First, let me say that the man who puts his hands on a woman except in a caring or caressing manner is a disgrace to manhood. It is imperative that men who are so inclined seek professional help in order to address the illness or maladjustment that prompts this inappropriate behavior. A mere “I’m sorry. I won’t do it again” is not a solution. The root cause of such unmanly behavior must be identified and addressed. There is an identifiable illness – psychological, emotional or physical – that sets off such behavior. Unless a man seeks professional help, he is very likely to abuse a woman again and again. Secondly, to the women: You deserve better than a person who will abuse you. If a man doesn’t have sense enough to treat you like a lady, you need the protection of the police. His verbal promise to behave in the future is hardly worth the breath used to utter the words. Your personal welfare is a higher priority that worrying about the man having a police record. If he were concerned about a police record, he would behave differently. If you find yourself in a relationship with an abusive man and have a child or children by him, there are two issues that take priority over his having a police record: (1) Your physical and emotional welfare. (2) The psychological impact that an abusive environment can have on the children. The courts are the surest way to establish a regular cash flow for children when the parents are not compatible. (If a father is the custodial parent, the mother would be expected to pay support through the court.) The cop-out “I buy my child “stuff’” is not a defense against providing regular financial support for a child. If the non-custodial parent has a job – no matter how menial – it should be reported to the court so that the court can ensure that the child’s welfare is protected. The court can manage this matter more efficiently than the custodial parent. (I know of fathers who are so demon-possessed that they will not seek a regular job because the court can trace their earnings and siphon off an appropriate percentage as support for a child or children. How ridiculous is that?) Thirdly, to both parties: CYA!! You know what that means in the language of the street. A new and more useful meaning is CONTROL YOUR ANGER. The only good benefit from anger is when it motivates you to better yourself. It is the obligation of both parents to be civil in a relationship – especially when children are involved. Things do not always have to be your way. You are not always right! Beyond that, it is always possible that there is as better idea on a given issue than yours. A person is not obliged to “dance to your music.” Finally, to both parties: Decide what “respect” is from your perspective as a man – as a woman – and make a commitment that you will respect yourself and that you will insist that those around you respect you. This writer is distressed that so many young men are disrespecting our young women. Young women, let the bad relationship you might be in motivate you to upgrade your skills so that you can rise above any need for a man’s support. Take on-line classes. If possible, go to a Junior College. My guess is that, if you have children and are dedicated to moving your life in a new direction, your parents will help you care for your children while you go to school and learn new skills. Your parents who are able to do so will be glad to participate in your moving your life to a new level.
Posted on: Thu, 11 Sep 2014 11:54:51 +0000
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