9 weeks, I cant believe its been 9 weeks. My heart aches like it - TopicsExpress

9 weeks, I cant believe its been 9 weeks. My heart aches like it was yesterday if not more these days. Not sure why, but Im crying easier these days(those of you who know me, know I HATE crying in front of others). I had an appt with my Endocrinologist this week and she asked how the baby was(apparently she hadnt heard) and I started crying when I said she had passed. Ive said it a thousand times before without crying but for some reason, in that moment I couldnt. Maybe its the change in season, the holidays or just reality setting in. Ive been thinking of starting a blog. Im currently working on writing down Kates whole story, mostly for myself(so I dont forget the little things) and once Im done Ill probably get a blog up and running. Ive currently have about 5 pages written! I think Id like to write an entry at least every Thursday and call it my Thursday Thoughts. Why Thursday? Well first of all, Kate died on a Thursday, but I also found out I was pregnant with her on a Thursday, she was due on a Thursday, admitted to the hospital for the first time on a Thursday, we found out about her diaphragm on a Thursday, flew to U of M on a Thursday and were told she was going to be tested for SMARD on a Thursday. Every Thursday I realize its been another week without her, so it only makes sense to reflect on her life and where Im at in the grieving process on Thursdays. My hope is this blog will not only allow those who want to follow me on my journey with life after Kate, but also be another place for people to learn a little bit about SMARD. There is very little information available about SMARD. The thing that allowed me to put together the pieces of the puzzle for Kate was another SMARD parents blog, so maybe someday I will be able to pay that forward with my own blog. Ill post a link when I finally get it all together. Im thinking of calling it Karry on Kate. In honor of Kate, we taught Jack how to make a snow angel tonight like his baby sister👼❄️💕

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