96 divorce cases daily in the Kingdom JEDDAH — In marriage, which is supposed to be a lifelong partnership, the end is a far cry from the beginning. At the outset of their relationship, the couple will usually swim in the warm waters of romance, exchange sweet words and overwhelm each other with tender feelings. Then suddenly things change. What seemed to be impossible at the beginning will become quite probable at the end. The man and the woman will fight against all odds to be together, but as soon as they are joined in sacred matrimony, familiarization starts to breed boredom and may finally end up in divorce. Most divorce cases take place in the first year of marriage, during which the couple is supposed to be still honeymooning. According to official statistics recently issued by the Ministry of Justice, there were 34,622 divorce cases in the Kingdom last year — an average of 96 divorces a day. So what are the reasons behind divorce? Here some of the many reasons, of which some may seem ridiculous and illogical. “He goes out too much” A female psychological and family consultant tells the story of a young woman named Wala, who was divorced less than six months after marriage. Wala told the consultant she had to ask for divorce because her husband used to go out too much. She said, “ I was very enthusiastic about marriage. I could not wait to wear my white wedding gown and see my family and friends surrounding me on my wedding day. I dreamt a lot of the first day and visualized a romantic picture of the event. Very soon I was surprised to see my husband going out a lot. He did not want to sit beside me and become closer to me. I was shocked. In the past, I saw marriage as a rosy life. I dreamt of a man who would reciprocate my warm feelings and would always be near me. I was convinced that the man I had tied the knot with was not the man of my dreams. I decided to leave him before I became pregnant. I asked for a divorce and he readily agreed. I became a divorcee in less than six months.” “She is older than me” Another woman said she loved her husband and married him though he was much younger than her. She said she had no problem in this, but her husband started to be influenced by his family and relatives, who criticized him for marrying a woman who was older than him. She said, “My husband started to blame me for being older than him. Our life turned into hell. I told my family about my wish to divorce him and they supported me. I returned him all the money he had spent on the marriage and he divorced me. I was lucky I didn’t get pregnant.” “He stinks” Another woman said she divorced her husband because she could not stand his bad odor. “I couldn’t bear his awful smell. I told my family about this and they supported me in my call for divorce. I got rid of my husband after three months only.” “His soccer team lost” A woman got divorced because her soccer team beat her husband’s. She said they were watching a game between their two favorite teams and the match ended in his team losing. “My husband revenged the goals against his team by divorcing me,” she said. “I do not like your looks” A woman said her girlfriends used to mock her on the ugliness of her husband. “I did not like his face and had fears that my son might look very much like him. I asked him for a divorce out of fear that if I got pregnant, my son might have the same looks,” she said. The woman said after the divorce, her girlfriends deserted her. “Day off? Marriage off” A woman got divorced because she decided to take a week off from the kitchen. “My husband came home one day and asked me what I had cooked for him. I told him that I did not cook anything because this was my day off from the kitchen. He immediately divorced me,” she said. Is Love not enough? Dr. Salma Mahrous Sibaih, a female family consultant and educationalist, believes love alone is not enough to sustain a marriage. “Marriage is the dream of every man and woman, but when they realize their dream, and come to live together under the same roof, they will start feeling this is not the real dream they had lived for. They will finally decide to call it a day,” she said. Sibaih said the young man may prepare his home to receive his new wife, but he will not care much about preparing himself for the occasion. “The man will want his wife to be caring and loving like his own mother, while the woman will want a man who will love her for all her worth. A conflict of wills will soon develop and the married life will end in divorce,” she said. She said parents will often side with their son or daughter and will not rule on their differences objectively. “It is very rare to find wise parents who will intervene to end the rift between the married couple peacefully,” she said. Sibaih said some women will give much attention to their own looks rather than caring for their homes, children or husbands, so they may become divorcees for this very reason. She called for training and rehabilitating the husband and wife on marital life. She also asked for practical measures to reduce the rate of divorce.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Nov 2013 16:52:24 +0000
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