A BUBBERFLY...rode with us to church this mornin...a NEW CREATURE...I thought this was pretty cool...and ridin BEHIND ADAM, lol, is my GUARDIAN ANGEL...who most definitely HAS BEEN CARRYIN A LOAD LATELY...in th midst of all thats goin on, havin to find somewhere to move to, after spending 2 of TH MOST BLESSED and HAPPIEST years of my life where I am now, havin to adjust to sharing custody of my baby boy with his Daddy, wondering how IN TH WORLD Im goin to survive WITHOUT SEEIN MY LITTLE GRANDBUG like Ive been able to th last 2 years, SOMETHING THAT I NEVER BELIEVED WOULD BE POSSIBLE...They say everything happens for a reason. That good THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT PATIENTLY ON TH LORD. That LOVE NEVER FAILS...I never believed any of these things most of my life...I was SO COLD that its a thousand wonders THAT STUTTS didnt come and get me- FOR REAL. Then something happened about 7 years ago THAT CHANGED THIS OL GIRLS LIFE FOREVER. I was in jail. Alone. Scared. Scarred. And WITHOUT HOPE. NUMB-but not from th COLD CELL I was in. I WAS NUMB FROM YEARS OF JUST EXISTING. ALWAYS BEIN MISS TUFF STUFF to th entire world around me. Funny thing happens when th entire world IS NO LONGER WATCHIN you. Matter of fact THEY DONT EVEN NOTICE YOURE NO LONGER AROUND...WHEN THAT DAY EVER COMES AROUND let me tell yall...YOU REALIZE PRETTY QUICKLY what th word FOOL means. You start to think ABOUT ALL TH SELFISH, HURTFUL THINGS youve done along your way, th PEOPLE YOU HAVE HURT, th years YOULL NEVER GET BACK, and most importantly YOU REALIZE THAT MAYBE. JUST MAYBE. YOU HAVE BEEN WRONG. Lol. Th first instinct we have is TO LOOK AROUND US . LOOK FOR SOME HELP...Some COMFORT. Some UNDERSTANDING. SOME PEACE...and in th moment I had NOT ONE SOUL that I could think to CALL ON that could or would possibly help me-I did th only thing left ID NOT TRIED in my almost 40 years...I called on JESUS. I barely whispered IM SO SORRY FOR ALL TH WRONGS IVE DONE. PLEASE HELP ME JESUS...And I AM NOT MAKIN THIS UP-I FELT TH WARMEST HUG IVE EVER FELT IN MY LIFE...IN A JAIL CELL. ON TH COLD CEMENT FLOOR. MIDDLE OF JANUARY. My life WAS GIVEN BACK to me that nite. AND SAID ALL THAT TO SAY THIS: I stood today. In my church. A place that is very SACRED and DEAR TO MY HEART. Surrounded by SO MUCH LOVE. And for TH FIRST TIME in a long time WITH MY OLDEST SON, ADAM, and his girlfriend JAMIE, not only THERE, but th VERY REASON I WAS THERE TODAY...TH LORD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS. Another old sayin...TODAY WHILE PRAYIN and ASKIN TH LORD TO FORGIVE ME WHERE I FAIL HIM. AND WAS THANKIN HIM for all His blessings in my life, I FELT AN ARM GO AROUND MY SHOULDER, th WARMEST arm Id ever felt. And then felt a hand on my back. A smaller hand. When THIS OL MOMMA realized IT WAS HER SONS ARM. AND HIS GIRLFRIENDS HAND upon her I BROKE DOWN like a little baby. TH UNSEEN HAND...Jesus. God in th flesh. DONT EVER TELL ME THAT ANYTHING OR ANYONE is A HOPELESS CASE...THATS NOT POSSIBLE...cuz we 3 WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN where we were today-if we had not BEEN where we WERE YESTERDAY...Juss spillin my heart out...
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 19:42:52 +0000
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