A Bawas Will >> I, Tehmuras Tehmpton Tarkariwalla (alias T3), being of sound mind [one and only time] and solid body [Dara singh no baap], do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means. Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of pinhead politicians who couldnt pass ninth grade biology if their lives depended on it, or doctors, who can barely treat my pet Bruno, but are interested in simply running up the bills. >> >> >> If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to ask for at least one of the following: Char Double fried eeda with crisp [jalela] brown toast, Kolah no murabbo, Bhida par eedu, Dar-ni-poori, Marghi na farcha, Ek dajan taajah bomla, Akoori on toast, Fresh Tadee, Dhanshak anne Kachumbar [tarela kabab sathe], Kolmi no Patio, Chai with leely Chai & Fudino, Sali-ma-gosh with fresh chokah ni rotli, Dukes ni raspberry, Lagan nu custard, kulfi from Parsee Dairy Farm, Hafoos Mango, Belgian Chocolate, Scotch with soda, Patra ni machchi, Kayani ni pastry, Victory na wafers & Paris Bakery ni butter khari biscuit.... >> >> >> Then it should be presumed that I wont ever get better. When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my appointed person [BOY - the kalia who has been my faithful Man-Friday from Billimora] and Soli, my solicitor, to ensure that the attending physicians pull the plug, reel in the tubes, and call it a day. >> >> >> I have lived a good life, and am looking forward to meet my Maker... Boy should go to the Camas at Mumbai Samachar and ask them to print my departure. And dont forget to inform all the Ghelchodiyas & Gadheras that I used to drink with at the Parsi Gymkhana otherwise they will curse me all the way back to Behram Baug. >> >> >> >> A dinner be organised at Dotiwalla Baug for my carrom gang with Godiwallas catering and whisky from Parson & Co. [the 1st licensed liquor shop in Bombay, license No.1] and call apro Gary Lawyer [who is not a lawyer but a besooro singer] and ask him to sing Besame Mucho for me at the dinner. Most of the carrom gang are deaf and dont have an ear for music. >> >> >> Boy should continue to look after my Bruno from the money I leave behind in Central Bank nu khatu. >> >> >> My Morris Tiger [1949] should be given to Soli, my solicitor and my horse Knightsbridge should be sold to a ghorawalla from Matheran and not to a ghoragariwalla in Mumbai or a ghorawalla in Mahabaleshwar as I dont want the poor animal to gallop on daamar [asphalt] na rasta. >> >> >> The furniture and fixtures should be given to Pundoles to auction and the sale proceeds to be donated to the Bai Sakarbai Petit Animal Hospital. >> >> >> >> The Rani no photo should be sent to apro prince Charles, who is now the husband of Kamaal ni Camilia. >> >> sd/- T3. [i.e. Tehmuras Tehmpton Tarkariwalla] >> >> (In the presence of salo dukkar doctor Soli Saklatwalla and fatakadi nurse with big katlas.) >> >>
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 04:16:01 +0000
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