A DIXIE UPDATE 45 December 21 ~ THE GREATEST SMALL GIFT In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God ~ John 1:1. Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall call his name Immanuel (which means, God with us) ~ Matthew 1:23. And she gave birth to her firstborn son and wrapped him in swaddling cloths and laid him in a manger, because there was no place for them in the inn ~ Luke 2:7. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth ~ John 1:14. These four simple, yet incredibly profound verses describe the greatest small gift ever given to mankind. It is the reason Dixie and I are celebrating this Christmas. It isnt simply that we believe God is great (hed have to be to put this universe in motion, would he not?). Nor is it that he may possibly be out there somewhere looking disinterestedly upon all he has created. Its because we believe he loves enough to be present among us all, to identify with what and with whom he has created, to offer up the greatest gift in a tiny, helpless person . . . the gift of his presence. Thursday before Christmas week. We arrive at SCCA for a blood draw, followed by an appointment with the oncologist, Dr Chiorean. Our long term patient / doctor relationship has by now morphed into more of a symbiotic association, a mutual interaction between different individuals linked together by a common problem. As our appointment nears its end, I ask the question that has lingered in my mind: Doctor, you have set up an appointment for us with Palliative Care. It feels as though you may be moving us from curative more toward comfort care. I need to know. Is this what you are thinking? No, no, not at all, her reply comes quickly. Often people hear palliative care and imagine the cancer or heart patient, or whatever the long term illness, is being made comfortable in an end-of-life hospice setting. Palliative care is quite different. It is an emerging new medical specialty in the last few years ~ and no, as good as hospice is, its not the same. Palliative care doesnt serve only the dying. Instead, it focuses more broadly on improving life and providing comfort to people of all ages with serious chronic, and life-threatening illnesses. In short, this new medical specialty aims to improve ones quality of life ~ however you define that for yourself. Your palliative care providers work with you to identify and carry out goals having to do with symptom relief, counseling, and spiritual comfort; in other words, whatever enhances your quality of life. Thank you, I reply. Thats helpful to hear. Weve been at this so intently, and for so long now, we are beginning to wonder when there will be a light at the end of this tunnel. Dr Chiorean continues, This may help. Ive also spoken with Dr Park. He remains open to the possibility of liver surgery, providing we see sufficient improvement from this current chemotherapy series. But you can receive palliative care, while at the same time pursuing other treatments for your illness. We are hopeful FOLFOX will help us turn the corner. If it does not, there are other possibilities to consider, including a clinical trial in which some good results have been reported. I counter with, We have been offered numerous other non-medical suggestions from good friends. Some report good results. What do you think? Bring to our attention anything you want us to look at, please. Many of our modern medical treatments have their origins in plants and in natures other curative elements. We will be happy to consider alternative treatments with you, in addition to what we normally work with, and will go over them carefully with you. Later on, while undergoing the infusion treatment in Unit 15 on F5, we discuss what we have heard from the doctor. After reflecting, we agree. It is not so much what was said as how she said it. It was her tone, her attitude, that somehow left us feeling more positive than we have been for awhile. It wasnt a sense of false hope being offered up, but a genuine sense that she and others at the clinic are doing their very best, studying, thinking ahead, consulting together interdisciplinary. She had given us the greatest small gift . . . the gift of presence. In reality nothing has changed. We are still in the valley of shadows. The home infusion pump continues to send chemo chemicals into Dixies body as we head home. It will continue for forty-six more hours. Yet this long day ends with a deep awareness of Gods presence, of having made todays sacred journey with the One who knows the way. Friday. At ten oclock, I am at SEATAC, gathering up our son Steve, Nancy and Jesse, who look both tired and happy to be on the ground again, having just flown all the way from Hong Kong, via Tokyo. A half hour later, Jessica is in the car with us as well, having come from Denver. And a half hour after that we are all home again, beginning an extended pre-Christmas family weekend, the first in eleven years for us all to be together at the same time. Each minute is precious as laughter blends with delightful flavors across the food bar. When asked if anyone wants to do anything special, everyone agrees. We are. So we just hang out together. Like family. Saturday. Everyone enjoys a tasty brunch prepared for us the day before by Joyce and Ron Pipkin. Michele has taken a half day off from work to help oversee the kitchen. Neighbors leave cards and small gifts at our door. We leave the rest of the family and cross the 520 floating bridge to arrive at SCCA at 4:30 for home pump removal. The nursing staff is nearing the end of a long week. Conversation is light, humor is the balm. Within the hour, we are free at last. At least for another week. We head for home. Mark, Katy, Geoff and Corbin have joined us. Michele is the soup chef, presenting us with family tradition main courses of clam chowder and tomato bisque soup, bread and olives. After dinner, presents are shared with those who must leave before Christmas Day, to be with other family members elsewhere. As is often the case, presents are most enjoyed by those newest to the family, happy to be here, too young to know why. Jessica presents our three-year-old little dude, Corbin, with three small Jurassic Park style prehistoric animals. He proceeds to roar around family forest with them in true beast mode (sorry, it helps if you are a Seahawk fan) fashion the rest of the evening. An endearing moment of innocent pleasure. No electric cords. No batteries. No flashing lights. Just three small toys and grateful thanks (twice I observe Corbin pause and say thank you to his gift giver before roaring on by). Watching, I realize we can all learn something here. This wouldnt be near the fun if his gift had just mysteriously turned up . . . if there had been no giver to thank . . . if the little dude had to roar about the forest alone. It turns out the real present is not the Jurassic Park style toy figures after all. The real present is presence. Presence of the giver. Presence of others with whom to share the gift. Presence that makes one happy just to be here, even though too young to know why. Jesus said, “I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children ~ Matthew 11:25 Sunday. Jessica returns to Denver this afternoon. The rest of us come together again in the evening for dinner. And while there are not many die-hard sports fans in our family (where did I go wrong?) the Seahawks do manage to make Seattle proud once more. Wednesday. A Tuesday evening dinner at a favorite Mexican restaurant is followed all too quickly by a 3am Christmas Eve drop off at SeaTac. Steve, Nancy and Jesse are on their way to Memphis. There they will visit Nancys mom and dad, four sisters and their families, all from around the eastern US, before flying home to Hong Kong on the 30th. Yes, the distances keeping us apart are indeed long . . . but for this one week, we all agree. Its a small world after all. To all our friends and colleagues, close at hand and around the world, may Jesus be with you this Christmas, as he is with us; and may the New 2015 Year be the very best ever for you and those you love. “We ought not to be weary of doing little things for the love of God, who regards not the greatness of the work, but the love with which it is performed.” ~ Brother Lawrence, The Practice of the Presence of God The greatest small gift ever given is celebrated on Christmas Day . . . Jesus presence mingled with yours and ours, with those we love in the human family, and in the family of God. ~ W
Posted on: Wed, 24 Dec 2014 18:15:46 +0000