A FEW SIMPLE RULES FOR HAPPY LIVING: Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Avoid arguments with women about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers - simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Youll be afraid to cough. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesnt move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldnt move and it does, use the duct tape. If you cant fix it with a hammer, youve got an electrical problem. Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies...not really good for much but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.
Posted on: Thu, 09 Oct 2014 18:13:01 +0000
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