A FIELD OF DAISIES By Mary L. Palermo Copyright June 2013 Still requires some editing Alas, my celebration to the Calgon Take Me Away festival a waits. Somehow in that chamber of horrors, I lower my vessel into the pit. Hands fumble frantically with the taps of judgment; hot, cold, good, bad, happy or sad. I’m a child, a babe in arms. I’m the Purest of the Pure, a defrocked Joan of Arc without a quest. The windows to my soul close tightly I search frantically for answers. Release me oh Great One, to a field of Daisies, a sunlit beach, your will be done. Protect me as I shout! Give me guidance! But contraire, the toxic flow creeps up like hot lava, scorching my soul. Ever intensifying, it taunts me, a devil incarnate unleashing a barrage of tricks. All my sensibilities obscured, while betting for my final demise. “Hope springs eternal” or so they say? I will not falter! ”Stumble not!. One last journey a waits me before I exit from these gates of hell. This Twilight Zone of inhumanity, yet another trial I must endure? The Looking Glass of Shame is suspended preciously. A road map of my life my tears stream down this windshield of hopelessness. Streams of razors slicing my soul, but I must carry on. No Prince to save me, no white horse to gallop forth. I’m alone, so very alone!!! What was my error? Just a void I face, no footprints in the sand beside me. Childishly I resort to clicking my ruby red slippers. “There’s no place like home, there’s no place like home”. Juvenile, “Stupid Fool”, is this all I possess in mighty arsenal to battle such a mighty foe? The Steam clears, beckoning me to view. “Come on in little girl, let’s have a cookie” Curiously killed the Cat, a pussy be I. Closer I must step to this rancid pool of darkness. A trap for sure! Another day to have ‘fooled’ stamped on my forehead, but I can’t resist! Reflections of unfulfilled dreams, stone cold hearts, block the road to happiness. Love is a bitter word in this gnarled forest of gloom. Tides of fetid waste rise to bless the buzzards perched, searching below for prey. Where is my savior? I stand jilted at the altar, an aborted fetus of a uncaring whore, a sense of sadness engulfs me. I want to go to the highest mountain top and shoot, or curse. God why? Show yourself! Redeem yourself I demand you, don’t leave me here like a carcass to be picked clean! Resorting to fairy tales? Is that the best you have to offer? Will the wicked witch smile with glee? Will the tooth fairy be my avenger? I shudder, I weep, and then, yes, I knelt down and begged. Humble me father, like never before. I care not, my soul weeps. In the hush of that second I felt the pounding of millions of hearts. Voices beseeching God, their needs so much greater than mine. I hung my head in shame yet continue. Just give me a sign I am weak, please, or the serpent himself can tally the win. Truly my soul must be worth more? “A penny saved is a penny earned” a corny aphorism yet valuable. My end to a need are limited, but must be enduring to the ninth degree. ”Oh yea of little faith. ”Ramblings of such nonsense chip away at my core, numbing me. A beaming chard of the whole reflects days gone, catching my observant eyes. Dissected smiles, puppy dog tails, the smell of baby powder, draw me close. And then it happened, a college of skeletal portraits, my parents, hollow eyed, and peering back at me vacantly. A trap to the blame game of sorrows I had fallen in. My eyes fell resting on the one burnt out tulip light among the row of two others glowing brightly. Above the reservoir, its bleakness connects to my soul. For three months this torch of darkness had come to represent my burden. “Pick me” Pick me” it echoed. Then it blinked for an instance, like the twinkling of a shooting star. Desperation, like a discarded Bic lighter to a non-smoker on the sly, I grabbed my opportunity. Perfection in its simplicity…”From darkness there shall come light”….Lord, I leave it to you…”Prince of Peace, bring life to this Creation by morning” Love me or leave me, strike me dead if it’s your will.………I have passed the buck. Ferociously this lion of faith eternally in my heart bounds from the room. Attempting to outrun common sense, which always seems to be at the starting gate? I care not…Sleep awaits…Tomorrow my answer awaits in that den of thieves. The birds chirping awaken me…a good sign? The dungeon door reverberates, clanking as I enter this prison of denial. I bolster all my courage, all my being, to look at this possible ’miracles of miracles’. Will the loaves and fishes feed the masses? Or will the pits of hell laugh as another one bites the dust? But somehow inside I already knew, I had passed my exam. Or it had passed mine? A sense of peace, and overwhelming joy absconded as I gazed at the chosen blossom. Its radiance flooded nectar through my veins. Overcome I drank it in, suckling like a new born babe. How could I have been so stupid? My face plastered by tears of forgiveness, and regret. But now I was Spock, transported to a new realm of knowledge. My last domino of renunciation fell and in the twinkling of an eye I knew I had been reborn. Shadows now lifted dragon’s slayed. Trance like, I slowing turned, knowing, my father; father of all father’s was there. In all his grace, I was blinded by his majestic radiance! I attempted to harness myself to this ecstasy, this cloud nine of pure bliss. He smiled, and then pointed to where the Mirror of Shame had hung. Now replaced was the Pane of Grace, I approached just in time to see. Oh my heart swelled at what I saw. My parents were walking hand in hand among a field of daisies, frolicking like children. Then they turned, stopped, and waved, to me! My lord gathered me in his arms, I knew now; he had been there all along! It had been me evading him. Then in a twinkling of an eye, my knight was gone. The Pane of Grace closed, yet something shimmered through the mist. Etched on the glass was a double set of footprints, mine and his forever more. The buzzards soared, frantically seeking out another roost. Well devil, viper of vipers tally one for the almighty. Your days are numbered!
Posted on: Sat, 03 May 2014 15:11:13 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015