A FRIEND WRITES TO ME My boyfriend has been my help and provider for the past 7 years… He paid my fees through the university and has simply, played the role of my father for as long as I have known him. My mother is petty trade who managed to struggle to see me through senior high school. My two other younger siblings dropped out of school because she couldn’t support all of us. My dad passed away when we were still very young. Kwame, I have paternal aunties and uncles who are well to do but nobody has ever cared how my younger siblings, my mother and I have survived all these years, except for my mother’s only brother, who occasionally supports us. Thankfully to God, I have completed school; gotten a job and able to support my two younger siblings to learn a trade now. We approached my paternal family for a due process so we can settle down properly in marriage and Kwame, the list they presented to us is simply ridiculous. The worst is that, they want him to pay a gratitude fee of GHC5000 to his late father in-law’s family and GHC1000 to his mother in-law and her family. Without mincing words, I made it clear to them that, none of them, will even get to taste a bottle of soft drink. Why should they determine my destiny after all they did to us? I have asked my fiancée and his family to show appreciation to my mother in a small ceremony, and then we can go ahead and have our marriage legalised in court. Here’s the complication Kwame---My fiancés families insist paying the dowry is tradition and that must be strictly adhered to, just that, my family will have to take a look at the list again. Indeed, I am filled with rage considering the fact that, these people refused us any form of help all through the 15 year our father passed on and all of a sudden, tradition demands that, they determine whether I settle down happily in marriage or not. They have asked that, I come to apologise with a ram before they will even accept anything on my behalf because I disrespected them. Isn’t there anyway out of this for me? Why should people reap where they have not sown? What if I had gone wayward? Will they not have blamed my mother for not bringing me up well? Kwame, I am 27 years, Prince is 30. We want to start up a family and these greedy family members of mine are being a hindrance in my way.
Posted on: Thu, 24 Oct 2013 05:46:57 +0000
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