A Further Explanation Of The Father Stefan Axiom, The Original Axiom Stated Here, The Further Explanation follows At The End Of The Original Axiom. Here is a Axiom that I am calling the Father Stefan Axiom, and like every Hyphotesis it has to be tested. Chime in and tell me what you think. Here is the Father Stefan Axiom and it has come from years of working with couples getting married. In Short here is the Fr Stefan Axiom. Woman say that they want their husbands to reveal to them all their feeling, and while it is true that most woman say they want this in truth they do not. Second principle of axiom, if the husband reveals to many feels of fear and insecurity it makes the wife feel unsure about her own fear, in this she needs her husband to be a rock. This doesnt mean that the husband cannot at certain times reveal a certain degree of emotion of fear, but only in a moderate way. Third axiom, when men reveal to many of their emotions, fear being the one that I pin pointing, it comes accross that the man is neadie, and emotional neededness in a man is a turn off for most woman. So back to the original axiom, while most wives say that they want their husband to reveal all their emotions to them, I think in the field of life they dont really. In this sharing of the husband to the wives i am thinking of more the emotion of fear, but to a certain degree all the emotion are to be understood in light of this father stefan hyphotesis. I have tested this hyptotesis with many couples, and the wife always says, sure I want my husband to share all his fears emotions with me and he does, than I ask the husband the same question and they have said with out a single exception that my observation is correct. Maybe this is a reflection of Genesis Male and Female He created them. St Joseph only said one word in scripture Jesus. This Father Stefan axiom is not to be interpreted that the husband as no need or even a great need to share his emotional state with his wife, but it ends with the original hyphotis, Woman say that they want their husbands to reveal to them all their feeling, and while it is true that most woman say they want this in truth they do not, or at the very least not as much as they think they do. Chime in on your thoughts, and if my inital testing bears out husband and wives will answer very differently, The Father Stefan Axiom is not meant to imply guilt or fault towards either the husband or the wife, but stating the axiom can give us a starting point of how to improve marriage in general, Some reasons for the existence of the above state of event is that we live in a culture that prizes emotional sharing over all else. It is clear that most woman are more connected to emotions than men, so woman are inherently more equip to participate on the emotional plane. So the culture favors woman in this way, men often feel the need to catch up, they are told in essence just listen. In many cases the ideal man in the one who simply listen to the wife and validate her feeling. This can become so much the case that the husband never really is given an opportunity to express hes feeling because he want to be a good husband and listen. Emotional sharing is important and man for the most part ( I would argue it flows from how God formed man and woman the image of God) feel more comfortable playing the protector role. Also there is this thought that largely comes from the pyschological sciences that every fear and emotion must be communicated for their to be a healthy relationship, In short many men are just trying to listen to their wives, and the wives think that the husband has shared his emotional condition. In short men are woman process emotional differently, one is not better than another, But this begs the original question most men have as many emotions as woman, where to do they go with their emotions and remember the original father Stefan axiom focus more on the emotion of fear, fear that the man has. How scripture says, that the Husband is head of Wife Just as Christ is head of the Church, Now this statement is not to be interpreted as man domination is any form of the word. However,how does this verse from scripture play out in the marriage dynamic. If some one is the head, in a real way it it lonely at the top. where did Jesus go with his fears? Jesus went to the Father. Now the Father Stefan axiom is not to understood in a universal sense, just that scripture seems to point to what actually happen in the marriage dynamic. namely that the wife wants to express her feeling to her husband, but is not as interested as much as she think in the feeling of the husband. As one husband put it, a husband feels rightly or wrongly that if he shares feeling of fear with his wife he will appear weak. the Husband father is called to be a protector, can you imagine a general sharing his fears with his company. This image of the general warrior is an anology and every anology limps, marriage is must greater in dignity and beauty than a army image, but it is true that the husband often falls in to the role of protector, guardian. Do we not call st Joseph the Guardian of the Holy Family. All this being said wives have a responsibity to help their husband get in touch with their emotions. Because emotions are essential to our human development. The thoughts of what happen when the husband is totally emotionally dead, or that the wife has to take the protector role of the family, But that will be a further development of the father stefan axiom. Again to state the original point, the father stefan axiom is not meant to imply blame or guilt, just states things as they are in many case, and maybe as they are suppose to be.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 19:48:37 +0000
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