A Glimpse Into The Future.... (Original author unknown) [Edited] Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Express . May I have your National ID number? Customer: Hi, Id like to place an order. Operator: May I have your NIDN first, sir? Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, its 6102049998-45-54610. Operator: Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone numbers 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302, and your cell numbers 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir? Customer: Huh? Im at home. Where dya get all this information? Operator: Were wired into the system, sir. Customer: (Sighs) Oh, well, Id like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. Operator: I dont think thats a good idea, sir. Customer: Whaddya mean? Operator: Sir, your medical records indicate that youve got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider wont allow such an unhealthy choice. Customer: Oh man...What do you recommend, then? Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. Im sure youll like it. Customer: What makes you think Id like something like that? Operator: Well, you checked out Gourmet Soybean Recipes from your local library last week, sir. Thats why I made the suggestion. Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. Your total is $49.99. Customer: Lemme give you my credit card number. Operator: Im sorry sir, but Im afraid youll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit. Customer: Ill run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here. Operator: That wont work either, sir. Your checking accounts overdrawn. Customer: Never mind. Just send the pizzas. Ill have the cash ready. How long will it take? Operator: Were running a little behind, sir. Itll be about 45 minutes, sir. If youre in a hurry you might want to pick em up while youre out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward. Customer: How in the world do you know Im riding a bike? Operator: It says here youre in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repossessed. But your Yamahas paid up. Customer: Yeah, well, the bikes not bad... Operator: Id advise watching your speed though, sir. Youve already got a July 2006 conviction for speeding. Customer: (Speechless) Operator: Will there be anything else, sir? Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 litre of Coke. Operator: Im sorry sir, but our ads exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. Customer: You know what? Never mind - I dont think I want ANYTHING. Operator: Have a nice day then, sir. Oh and before I go, I just want to remind you that its time for your daughters medication. Thank you for calling Pizza Express.
Posted on: Sun, 21 Sep 2014 16:14:20 +0000
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