A&Im writes : (careful of potential triggers) I was going to post here some weeks ago but I didn’t have the courage. Now everything got worse and I guess I seriously need help.. I’m a 16-year-old girl. I’m not sure if anyone else has this type of fear... For a long time I have been feeling that I don’t exist and everything I see around me or happen to me is not real. I freak out suddenly and stare at everything around me having a weird feeling in my eyes that I can’t describe. It has been getting worse and now it’s terrible. I’m always really scared and having this weird feeling in my eyes all the time. I have OCD and it’s also getting worse, It’s driving me crazy. I’m really scared of becoming blind which is making me act in a crazy way. (The feeling that I don’t exist is actually related to my fear of becoming blind). I feel totally alone in this world. I have no friends or anyone to support me at all. I rarely ever get out of home (except at school months because I’m forced to). I don’t speak to anyone. I wish I had a brother who is close to me, I hate being an only child… My mum doesn’t understand how serious my problems became. I tried a lot before to talk to her about them but with no use. She doesn’t even know how depressed I am. I have been going through depression that gets worse everyday for years. I cry everyday several times. I’m not on any medicine anymore and I stopped going to professionals few years ago. I was never able to explain to them how I feel. I feel that I have no reason to be alive or keep going at all. Suicidal thoughts are always in my mind but I’m too scared to do it... I’m really sick of saying "I’m fine" all the time. I’m really going insane… I have many other problems but it will take forever to talk about them… Thanks to everyone who took the time to read that. I appreciate that a lot. It took me very long to write it.
Posted on: Sun, 25 Aug 2013 20:00:37 +0000
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