A Potential Conversation or a Convolutation (in the middle of the night) Its a full moon and I cant sleep. They may not be related, but usually I can sleep at night. Maybe my waking life is just too exciting for me to sleep easy. Whatever it is, here I am, with nothing better to do than to be writing some thoughts for you to digest, maybe with your breakfast. You know I have ink in my blood. I had a few writers in my family line. I looked them up on google and found very little about them. My great-uncle Alfred was known as Cincinnatus and had a column under that name for a Cincinnati newspaper for maybe 50 years, writing about the people and the goings on in the city every day. Now, he and all his readers are long gone and almost entirely forgotten. As a kid, I had glanced at one of his columns and found it supremely boring. Another great-uncle wrote articles for Life magazine, and my mother led a creative writing workshop for about 50 years and wrote light comedy for some musicals presented in that same fair city where I was raised, a place where I recommend travelers to stay away from, as I have a distain for its culture which features the football team, the chili parlor, and the zoo, oh, and they are very proud of their symphony. I have no desire to return there as the life there seems to me to be on a low plane. Of course, many intelligent people live there who have accepted this mediocre form of existence as normal, and if they should read this, would lead a mob to lynch me, as their misplaced loyalty could explode in provincial self-righteousness. It is late in life that I have discovered the joy of writing and it is one of my indulgences since my early retirement. I am in a certain way, dependent on my readership to keep this from being a solely solitary endeavor. And there is tremendous joy therefore to provoke a response, like a comment. I publish now in many groups as there is a tendency for readers to be reticent and unresponsive. Of course I could blame that on the article, but I enjoy them, so there must be others as well, not everyone obviously. So I imagine that readers are overwhelmed with information and that their time is limited, so that one has to read slowly and be moved a lot if they are going to respond. So all skimmers and insensitive people will not respond, which could be a sizeable percentage. I fell asleep and dreamed that I was in a strange city with some friends who needed to go to the airport soon. I had parked the car and had gone out to get it to take them there, but I couldnt remember where I parked it. I had to walk all over to find it, but I was getting more and more lost. The situation was getting hopeless and it was all my fault. Finally, I woke up, it was 3 in the morning, it was such a relief that it was only a dream. If there is a lesson in it, it might be that if I dont keep conscious of what is necessary, there can be dire consequences. Meanwhile, I cant fall back to sleep, so here we are, together again. You will be reading this at another time, maybe tomorrow, Monday. On the internet or facebook, one can now have conversations at different times. I can message someone and they can answer hours later, when they see it. There should be a word for conversations like that, that happen over a period of time,without having to be together at the same time, maybe a convolutation. This message that I am writing now, is similar to that, but no one is obligated to respond, so I wouldnt call it a conversation. It might become one, once someone comments. It is a potential conversation. One of the joys of living in our unique pueblo are the conversations one might have when in the plaza. Over time, one can get to know hundreds of people, and of course, each relation is different. I have discovered that the more enriching my connections/ conversations with others, the better I feel. On some days I can be at the Juice Factory, a popular hangout on the plaza, for hours, making important connections and having the most entriguing, entertaining, and mind-blowing conversations. At the same time, I have a ton of things that I wish to achieve back on the farm with our community, Shambhalabamba. As I am someone who has learned to live without the least semblance of guilt, I manage somehow. One reason that I live without guilt is that I never do anything wrong. I might do things that I regret, like in the dream, forgetting where I parked the car, I even forgot what the car looked like. A completely hopeless situation, with the people missing their flight at stake. I probably would have had to pay for an expensive taxi, because I think we were in Europe. But I really dont believe in apologizing, though sometimes I do just as an expedient. I can say instead that I regret that such and such happened. In this world, Apologizing implies that someone did something wrong. I prefer to live in a world beyond right an wrong, like Rumi the poet. It is possible. mistakes can often cost a lot of money. Only rich people can afford to make mistakes. It is one of the unspoken or unthought of benefits of being rich. Sometimes it is fun to write without a theme in mind, just like in a real conversation where people are willing to talk about whatever comes up and to go with it to wherever it might go. Someone should study conversations, it is of course, a form of improvisation, and some are better at it than others, and the quality can vary from conversation to conversation. There are many ways to connect and people like to say that using words in one of the worst ways, but I love the magic of words and if you think about it, language through words is something that we take for granted, but it is totally amazing. Watching how a baby learns how to talk, their memories are so strong that they are able to learn a language faster than I can. I hope to have workshops soon on how to connect deeply with others. It is a super skill to have. One that I dont have, one of many skills that I dont have. I never know how it will go. It is completely open and I seem to have little control. With some people, the conversation just flows and one can laugh hard or be intrigued or touched, and one can connect and make a friend. It is what all humans love. There is one person in our community who might be good at creating such a workshop. I have many ideas for this. Maybe some of you do as well. How to learn to connect more deeply with others? A super important skill, that isnt really taught anywhere as far as I know. I can hear the cock crowing, it is past 4 in the morning. If I dont go to sleep soon, I will get tired in the day. Sometimes I almost pass out from fatigue. One reason could be not sleeping so well, another could be age, or not getting the right minerals. I am not going to go any further on the train of thought, instead I will close here and hopefully close my eyes soon. Good night, sweet reader, I hope you feel moved to respond in some way, to make this more of a conversation than an article. I honestly wish that you have all the love you need this day. It something that we all seem to need so much of. see fb group: shambhalabamba
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 11:59:34 +0000
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