A Short Story... The third year I did two things. I walked into the police station, went into their bar and publicly apologized to Swanie. I also hired a private detective to find my ex-wife. I did not get a home address but one for her place of employment. It was less than 2km from Sound and Light City, just over the highway. At this stage of my life I had been taught to think before I act, so I did not rush over there full of apologies. Besides, sorry and making amends are two different animals. I don’t think I can ever make direct amends to Tracy, but I do try make amends to the Universe by treating people, especially women, better than I did her and Charmaine. I do not always succeed. The upshot was, considering what I had done and said to this woman during our divorce, she was not going to be glad to see me. To overcome this barrier I wrote a letter, explaining that I had being sober for a couple of years, trying to apologise, stating that there was nothing I could do to make things right and so on. I also gave my contact details and said if ever she wanted to talk, she could contact me. This done, I proceeded to her company. Arriving at the reception area I politely asked if I could see her. She was paged but as she came through the door she saw me and made a bee-line for the ladies’ toilets and locked herself in. I was not about to shout through the door so just pushed the envelope under the door and made a tactical withdrawal. She did not contact me. Considering how many times I had broken my promise to stay sober while we lived together, I don’t think she believed my letter. I waited 6 months, then had another letter hand-delivered, just stating that I was still sober and did she want to talk. Again, no reply. I did that for the next year with the same result. I was saddened by this but not surprised; my childhood sweetheart would never speak to me again, but I had to move on. This particular attempt at making amends was now done; I had many more to do.
Posted on: Sat, 22 Nov 2014 04:34:36 +0000
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