A Turning Point Wow what a difference a year makes, last night in was sitting in bed listening to music and reflecting on the whirlwind that was my life and a thought occurred to me this time last year man I was a hot mess that was an understatement I can remember exactly what i was doing last year to the day stealing to support an out of control addiction and Im not sure how i didnt get caught doing what i was doing, the only conclusion i can come to is someone higher than me was watching over me during that illicit activity I was cocky about it being stupid and thinking that I would never get caught, I eventually did get caught but not for these aforementioned crimes I am speaking about now but furthermore tomorrow is my birthday no big deal just another day but the significance of the person I am now to the person I was then is drastically different were are light years apart in my mind the old me is dead and gone even though It was only last year I was trashed on heroin nodding out in the paradise pizza parking lot staring over at the hot air ballon fest in findlay contemplating how I was gonna manipulate enough money out of someone to get my next fix. Mind you the thought myself being like that makes me cringe but thats the nature of the beast so whats the conclusion to this reflection?? That is no way to live its not until you have a few of months of sobriety under your belt that you can accurately examine how spun out you really were I see new people come into this program every week and I have seen my surrogate self come into this program and I look and them and think to myself that is exactly how I looked and I didnt even realize it.....wow its a real eye opener so for now Im sticking and staying here digging a little deeper into myself and how my mind works in negative ways assessing that and trying to fix that way of thinking or as those in the AA circle like to call it Stinking, Thinking it happens and it will never go away neither will the way my mind operates just have to identify it early before it spirals out of control which I am, continuing to grow as a person physically and spiritually I now weigh 215lbs when I began this journey I was a 170lbs . Thats all for now good things are happening here at the A.R.C. Shout out to William Boothe the creator of the Salvation Army. If nothing changes, well nothing changes
Posted on: Fri, 08 Aug 2014 17:52:15 +0000
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