A VERY PERSONAL POST...one of the longest Ive ever written. For some of you this will be foundation for gossip, for some itll be something else for you judge, for some of you itll be information worth sharing with a friend in need, for some itll hit home and do what I want this post to do: INSPIRE, ENCOURAGE, EMPOWER! Theres absolutely nothing in my life that Id hope nobody would ever find out about. I have no skeletons in my closet. Ive had a life with lots of downs that have served as inspiration particularly to other women who needed to be picked up. But Ive also had lots of successes that have helped to inspire others to greater heights. There are those who love me....and those who love me to death, those who carry a fair amount of admiration for me, those who respect me, those who cant stand me, those who smile in my face but mean something else. I am super confident in who I am and the total truth be told there was a time in my life when what others thought of me bothered me but fast forward 13 years to 2014 no-ones opinion of me matters to me! It may sound cold but Ive worked too hard to get where I am in life....with my sanity in tact. So where am I going with this? Ive been married twice, divorced twice, single for the past 13 years. Im in no way desperate for a man but good company and companionship I believe is most peoples dream. However unlike most, Im not one to settle into a relationship in the long term to put up with anybodys foolishness, abuse, disrespect, or negligence. I tell women all the time being single is not a disease! Stop settling for less than you know you deserve especially if your significant other is nothing more than your room mate or part time visitor engaging is self serving part time behavior! What matters to me is that a man treat me extremely well. Hed have to measure up to my daddy and those are some tough shoes to fill. But if it means being single for the rest of my life Im ready for that too. What matters is how he treats his children. An absent or no good father can do nothing for me! What matters is how he treats himself! When I meet a guy I try to find out as much about him as possible. Its human nature that if the chemistry feels right emotions get involved. The last guy I met seemed wonderful. Everything about him seemed wonderful. But I couldnt ask anybody about him because hes not Bermudian - an American living and working in MY country! Things seemed too good to be true but I longed to talk to SOME body about him. In fact his emotion overcame him so deeply at how well things were going he cried! We did everything together as the months went by. My slew of 200+ photos tell the story. His roomies were jealous. He had somebody who they dreamed would treat them even HALF as well as I treated dude! He spoke highly of his 8 year old daughter who I met over the phone and to whom I sent gifts on one of his trips home. According to him his daughters mother was every name in the book but a child of God! RED FLAG!!!! He cried one day so hard as he spoke of how he missed his baby. BUT he seemed ever so genuine! Suddenly his moods changed. Suddenly he didnt want to go anywhere. Suddenly I had to call before I came by! RED FLAGS!!!! But naturally I wanted answers but the only person I could ask was him! Any question I asked suddenly irritated him. He would tell me Im asking too many questions. He wasnt like that before! Hmmmmmm Things came to a head when I had simply had enough! This dead end relationship had to end. I left him with a few choice words before walking out his door - 3 days before he was leaving Bermuda to sort out some personal business - and I never looked back. His plan was to return to Bermuda (any day now) or a renewed work permit. Hmmmmmm .....cringing at the thought! What makes a person switch up so unexpectedly? What makes a person take your kindness for granted? What makes a person suddenly want to stay in because they say theyre shy and theyve already met too many people? I introduced him to eeeeeeeverybody! The relationship was over but for my personal satisfaction and desire to know for future relationships I NEEDED TO KNOW! I tried googling him but found nothing! WHO COULD I ASK? Hmmmmm Ive told many women: if you really want to know something about a man, ask his ex! Im convinced that in most cases although an ex may not be totally forthcoming with accurate information a lot of what she says will save you a lot of drama! Sooo.....thats what I did! I knew her name. I facebooked her. I googled her and voila! Found her number and called her: April Galvin FYI folks....we both knew these pics would be posted. Todays the day! :) For the next 2 hours we shared unbelievable stories. To date I still dont know which story is funnier.....lets see.....was it the name he is known by in Bermuda and Facebook which is NOT his real name? (Albeit immigration has his correct name in their records....but his roomies didnt even know)....No wait.....Was it the information of his extensive DUIs AND history of domestic violence that I was able to find online after I found out his real name? No wait....was it the story of the gifts I bought their daughter that he told April he had purchased for the little girl in Bermuda? No wait..was it the name of his mother he gave me who has her own church only to discover the name he gave was made up? No wait...was it the beautiful rainbow picture he sent to April letting her know he took it because he was thinking about her.....ummmmmm.....the same rainbow picture I had sent to him one night from the porch of Flanagans as I ate dinner with a girlfriend before going to his house? No wait......was it the stories he told her about missing her and keeping to himself because he found Bermudian women trashy or something like that? OH THE LIST GOES ON! I wish I knew then what I know now but Ill chalk this up to a great new lesson on relationships. And I dare that sucker to bring his tail back to MY island to work on an upcoming building project after hes just done earning $40 an hour 70 hours a week for 19 months -(do the math) - with all living expenses paid..... yet to date in arrears with child support! I dare him! How did he get her with his lengthy criminal history in the first place? Its always been my query about foreign workers anyway but I suppose thats a topic for another day! ) After a couple months of constant communication April and I finally met in person 2 weeks ago on my trip to Atlanta. I thought then as I did through our coversations that shes a wonderful person and an awesome mom. Dude has done many things to her that hed have never left Bermuda had he done them to me! We laughed and talked over dinner and drinks! April, I am SO PROUD OF YOU for realizing that you deserve far more than youve tolerated. I give thanks to God today that you are alive!!! You are a beautiful person. Dont let ANYONE steal your happiness and your self worth! Youve already made positive strides. KEEP GOING AND DONT LOOK BACK! Keep working your plan. Youve turned your trust in to God! Watch your life soar. Im glad we met, Apes (yeah thats what I call her.....lol). Keep your head up....and keep that smile on your face. Youre too pretty to frown. Hugs to you from the other woman......well one of them anyway! ROTFL! To everyone : PLEASE leave some words of encouragement here for April.
Posted on: Sun, 09 Nov 2014 22:46:43 +0000