A Woman Up Moment of Realization and Uplift... Your perception is reflecting your thinking. And, how you perceive a thing is most often how you will engage it. Heres the issue: Sometimes, how you are perceiving a person or thing is not always the reality of it. We project ourselves onto others and into our experiences. Reality is not objective; it is shaped by both what has happened to us and how we interpreted those happenings. In order to have more success in life, love and relationships, you must not simply see what has happened to you. You must learn to see each individual, moment, and/or situation for what it is. This adjustment of your perception requires that you stop looking at your life through the lens of your past. You are not there anymore. Keep the lessons you learned and the wisdom you gained, but the hurt must be reconciled within you with or without apologies from others. Make peace within yourSelf. Let me explain why this is necessary. If you live your life from your hurt and pain, even when people mean well, you will think they intend to harm you and in an attempt to protect yourself, you will self-sabotage. Self-sabotage can range from you pushing people away (emotional unavailability and distance, isolating and withdrawing, acting in ways that are unbearable to others, bad attitude, combative/defensive, etc...) to recreating the past trauma or selecting mates reflecting similar characteristics of those who previously abused or hurt you therefore reinforcing the perception that people cannot be trusted or all people will harm you (self-fulfilling prophecy). Understand this: Life must be lived in the NOW. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow has yet to arrive. It is good and highly recommended that you plan for the future. Also, sometimes, it is necessary to reflect over the past in order to ensure we dont repeat the same mistakes or to enjoy pleasant memories/experiences. Nonetheless, if hell is in your past or a lot of hurt occured in it, dont allow your mind to drift or dwell there. You cannot not live a joyful life brewing in past mistakes or hurts. You must be able to appreciate and acknowledge the goodness that is in you and in your life NOW. To hold on to traumatic events and pain is to be a prisoner to what someone else did wrong to you. They were wrong, not you. Dont allow anyone to have that type of power over you. Whoever and whatever hurt you doesnt deserve even a second of your precious life. Let it go everyday if you have to; some hurts take a lifetime to work out, but you will get better if you choose to. Now, you may be saying or thinking, Nicole, it is not that easy or you dont know what this feels like. Maybe you are right or maybe I know exactly what it feels like. Let me share just a snippet of my life without all the gory details: On June 8, 2014, I buried my father. I was the first person to be with his body after his passing and the very last person to leave. I kissed him in middle of his forehead (third eye) and told him I loved him just like I did the last time I saw him alive. I touched his hand only to feel the chill of death, and I immediately pulled my hand back. My hand started shaking, so I looked at my fathers face to stop from losing my composure (as my dad would have ordered if alive), and in that moment, I saw the smile locked in his face upon death. My daddy was a hard and very stoic man. He rarely smiled except during laughter, but in his death, which was traumatic on his body, he passed with a smile on his face. It was right then I realized that where ever he crossed over to, it was better than here and he was more than okay; he was happy. Do you know why his smile meant so much to me? It is because I rarely ever saw it growing up. My daddy was so abusive, brutal, and enraged that I used to tell people that if I ever saw the devil and his legion of demons, it was in my father. My daddy would beat me, my brother, and my mother until death lingered. My point of sharing this fact about my life experience with you is not for you to judge my father a good man or a bad man. If I do not stand in judgment of his life, I ask that you also do not sit in the seat of judgment for neither of us are GOD. It is here that I simply want to express that I understand what it is like to be tortured by the hand that was supposed to protect you; I know what is like to have pain and rage buried in the same place fighting to rule over your life; I know what it is like to move through the earth feeling unloved; I know what it is like to be betrayed and hurt by what you love most; and I also know what is like to forgive the man who never apologized to anyone....my father, whom I loved dearly, laid to rest in great honor, and I didnt not have one shred of animosity or hatred in me toward him despite what he did to me. All I felt was love. My dad by far was no where near perfect, but in all of his hell raising, he gave me the best parts of him. I always tell people one thing my Daddy did not do was raise a weak and stupid woman...every bit of his strength, he gave it to me and I am glad and forever grateful he did. Bottom-line: I can pour life and wisdom into you everyday not because of all of the degrees Ive earned, but because I am a living testimony that hell can come for you, as a matter of fact you can be born into it, however, it cannot have you or your life unless you hand yourself over to it. Dont do that! You will have victory in this life. Choose YOU and LIVE. Live so great that you cause angels to sing your name. #WomanUp2015
Posted on: Thu, 01 Jan 2015 20:12:52 +0000
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