A beautiful witness from a Third Option Core couple. Thank you for sharing Cathy & Scott Mcleish! (The next Third Option session, Coping with Control Issues, Nov. 4, 7-9 p.m., Bishop Dwenger High School. (For more info (260)338.OPT3, ThirdOptionFW.org, or ThirdOptionFW@gmail)) The Third Option; Love is an action… I believe that God, in His infinite love, has fashioned a plan and a purpose for every life.He has full knowledge of our deepest needs and yet His guidance is often circumvented by our fear, pride or complacency.By humbly tuning out the distractions of this world, asking the Holy Spirit’s intercession and seeking a closer walk with our Creator, we will ultimately grow in our ability to glorify God through how we live and love.This accomplishment, a success with eternal value, is far more rewarding than living a prosperous and orderly life by the standards of society. I’ll admit, when Scott presented the idea of being a mentor couple on the core team of the Third Option, in the privacy of my own mind I thought, “Well, we have been through a lot of adversity (much of it, self-inflicted) and we’ve never given up!In our 19 year marriage, we have moved forward, backwards and spun in circles eventually humbling ourselves and asking for help.We have learned and we have grown, so maybe we do have something to share with others?!” Speaking for this rebellious soul, God has a tendency of roping me into learning situations through my ego and this was such a time.While I presumed we might be a beacon of light for struggling couples, my eyes were quickly opened to the fact that every couple is a struggling couple, including us!In today’s world with its hectic pace, financial stressors and technological advances, there are more forces working against the marriage than for it.If we are not actively growing in our marriage, then we may be standing still; and anything standing still in today’s world is going to be trampled over and pushed backwards. While we anticipated that this new choice of ministry would be a stimulating challenge for our growth as a couple, it has proven to be a very powerful blessing as well. So what is The Third Option you might ask?Statistics are suggesting that the success rate of Catholic marriages is beginning to mirror that of the secular world.Though we have the strength of the sacraments, the gifts of the Holy Spirit and a relationship with a loving God who wants to provide us with more peace and happiness than we can imagine, we are somehow missing the mark.As the church so often strives to do, it is offering another option, an additional set of tools in our diocese. If our marriage isn’t everything we have hoped it would be and we are daily resigned to settle for less rather than leaving, this is option one.If my spouse and I see no way of repairing the damaged state that our marriage is in and we decide to divorce, this would be option two.If, however, one or both of us is humbly willing to learn new ways to listen, communicate and grow, hoping that our relationship would be positively affected by gaining new insight and using new tools, this would be The Third Option.Not her way or his way, but our way, where we utilize a third option of meeting in the middle while making healthier choices together. Sharing our personal experience as a mentor couple, Scott and I came together with a diversified handful of dedicated couples to first learn and then share Third Option skills designed by professionals to strengthen marriages.However, in order to effectively witness to couples, we were asked to dissect our own marriage relationship in the 14 topic areas offered by the program.Ouch?! Subjects including respect, control, anger, forgiveness and personality differences were examples of lesson topics that prompted us to reexamine our relationship.We admit we have slumped into ways of communicating that we ‘make work’ while realizing they aren’t particularly effective.The combination of identifying unhealthy habits, gaining insight as to what doesn’t work and why, and being given new suggestions and tools for change sparked almost immediate improvements.Being two strong-willed individuals, the program’s foundational focus on self-change prompted us to embrace the novel idea of searching inward for what we had the power to change rather than forever striving to recreate our partner to our own design. Giving testimony to the ease with which we’ve breezed through our Third Option lessons these past several months is impossible because we have recently reviewed the importance of genuine honesty! What I will truthfully share is that our humble search for growth is being abundantly blessed with new realizations and the grace and strength to build on them in our marriage.We are moving forward as a couple and that feeling is one that bonds.Our ability to love is a gift of our creator, fashioning us in His own image and likeness.Through our experience in the Third Option, we have found God is only too willing to bless every effort to repair, heal and strengthen marriages so they may provide couples with the joy and fulfillment He intended. Amazing grace!
Posted on: Sun, 03 Nov 2013 21:01:05 +0000
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