A bit about my life Helen Convery (formerly Serginson) Attendance Percy Hedley School 1977 - 1990 Helen Serginson was born on 21st March 1974 at Preston Hospital, Tynemouth. Her parents observed that she was not reaching the expected developmental milestones and considered she was slow. Eighteen months later following assessment cerebral palsy was diagnosed. “It is now twenty two years since I left the Percy Hedley School after being there for thirteen years. To me it was much more than a school. It was more like an extended family, everyone knew each other very well both children and the staff and in my final five years I felt it really was home from home when I became a weekly boarder. It gave me a huge sense of stability as my home life was unsettled at the time. There were so many teachers, carers and therapists I loved over those thirteen years. I always loved the summer holidays we had with Lynne Birrell, Alison Thompson and occasionally Sue Smithson. Above all I hold a special place for my housemother, Theresa Mann she made my resident days at school very special indeed. At the time of leaving school I was living with my mam and step-father in Whitley Bay but in September 1990 I moved on to Beaumont College, Lancaster. The school encouraged me to go there and helped me to make the right choice. Both the school and college have helped me to deal with life head on. I spent three years at Beaumont and returned home during the holidays. In 1993 I moved on from Lancaster to live in an Independent Living complex in Keighley. This was comparable to a student house. We had our own bedroom but shared the bathroom, kitchen and other facilities. Two other disabled people lived alongside me. Others in the house were volunteers who were there to help us with our personal needs and every day living. For me, this proved quite difficult as everything in school and college had been done for me very routinely and I had always been accustomed to dealing with professional teachers, therapists and carers which is not a bad thing but I found the real world quite scary. Now I had to deal with able-bodied people on equal terms. I remained in this situation for four years and eventually acquired a flat of my own within the community still with the support of the staff and volunteers from my last home. After six months Bradford LEA took responsibility for my care package when a care agency was introduced. From thereon I took responsibility for paying the rent directly to the housing association via the housing benefit. For me this was my biggest step on my own into the real world. In 1997 things in Keighley took a turn for the worse. I didn’t feel safe in my own home any more as local kids were uncontrolled, running riot and this was really scary. By December of that year with the help of my mam, step-father and little brother I ended up moving back to North Tyneside. The flat I moved into was unsuitable but it was the only way I could work my way on to the council waiting list. By September 1998, finally I got my own council flat which had the bathroom, ramp and door opener installed before I moved in. Life was on the up and up again. Once settled I got the appropriate care package and was for a time able to live a full and independent life. Added to this I was put on to the Direct Payment Scheme, another thing I had to fight for. Life was great and I completed a Health and Social Care course at North Tyneside College with the help of a support worker. Once settled in North Tyneside and into my own flat I did attend the Percy Hedley day centre and for a time I did enjoy this but after six months I was fed up with the repetition; same thing day in day out. I wanted and needed more but they were limited in what they could offer me. Being something of a ‘doer’ I needed a challenge and motivation. Having said that I did return in 2007 to what is called Able 2 for another six months and enjoyed working in the print shop. Yet again repetition of tasks and boredom resulted in me abandoning the work. However, I do think the Foundation does great work and knowing it is there is a huge support in itself for all of us. I think my generation of the Percy Hedley School was taught to be as independent as possible and then cut the apron strings. My school years were very rewarding but at times quite difficult due to the severity of my disability. Not only did I learn to read, write and use a typewriter and later a computer but I had to learn to crawl, walk with a walking aid and then a few steps unaided. How to balance and transfer from place to place independently. How to bath and dress if possible and safe enough to do so. I was even taught how to feed myself a little and tried to use a gadget – a Neater Eater – which proved quite cool for a time but over the years I have found being fed by someone is a lot easier and much less messy. Without the help of the speech therapists I do not think I would be communicating as well as I do with the outside world today. Via a community group called Living with Cerebral Palsy, I met my husband Aidan in April 2002. I was weary of reading and writing about the problems we face due to disability so I put up a joke on the internet instead. Aidan responded by asking me for more jokes and before we knew it e-mails were flying back and forth sharing things about ourselves and our views on life. After a few weeks sitting one evening, bored on my own, I decided to send Aidan a text message as he had sent me his mobile number although I did not expect a response but he did respond. From that moment on we were texting daily from morning to night. Aidan was doing a degree in London at the time but finally we met up in September of that year when Aidan came to stay with me for a week. We hit it off together straight away but neither of us was looking for a long term relationship, just friendship. We just seemed right for each other and we were both gutted when the time came to part. The next six weeks turned out to be the longest six weeks in my life but Aidan did return for another week which stretched into two. He returned to London for a further two weeks before abandoning everything there to be with me. In 2003 Aidan had to have a gallstone operation. When he got out of his bed he went to buy me an engagement ring and proposed on St Valentine’s Day. We then went on to marry in December 2004. Our honeymoon had to go on hold for eleven months because Aidan had to have a major operation which prevented us going to Sri Lanka. Instead we had a fabulous time in the Dominican Republic. Aidan is my main carer now when the official ones are off duty although he should have care as well as his condition due to cerebral palsy is deteriorating. Nevertheless, together and with help we muddle through. In the last few years I’ve done some charity events to raise money. In 2010 I leapt out of a plane at 13,000 feet. Now, over a nine month period I am attempting to take the same amount of steps using my walking frame which I haven’t really used since I left school. I have covered 10,375 steps so far around Riverside Park in Durham, over the Gateshead Millennium Bridge and along the coast in North Tyneside. I am aiming to complete the task by 9th September 2012 to coincide with the end of the Paralympic Games in London. All the money raised will go to the Paralympic Association. This is a tough challenge but it does get me out and about meeting people which I really enjoy. Now, I spend more and more time on line communicating with disabled and able-bodied friends. I don’t see people in person as much as I would like or have done in the past. This is more to do with speed of life and my choice to be in my own little place with Aidan by my side. Although I am not much involved with the local community I do go to concerts with friends from time to time. On reflection I do feel that my family found it difficult to come to terms with my disability. This I think must happen in other families too when the parents are young and a disabled child puts a strain on the family. Following the break up of the marriage and the inevitable disruption that caused I relied heavily on help from school, college, friends and carers. Together with my own efforts I have managed to move on. I have reconnected now with my dad and feel that he relates well and appreciates me. We have a good relationship. For the most part I feel accepted in the community but there are times when one hits obstacles or comes across people who don’t understand your disability and think you should live in a care home. Maybe by example, by living our own lives we can educate and improve attitudes for the next generation. That is my hope anyway. I view my future optimistically. Finally I am going somewhere. I’m doing things I enjoy and want to do, plus for the first time in years I am working with disability and not against it. I have a lovely caring husband who’s a bit grumpy at times but he’s my world. I have a fairly decent care package with two main carers and another who covers holidays and sickness. Above all I am doing the most important thing I have always wanted to do. Via the power of the internet I give support and encouragement to parents of disabled children. Something my own parents never had. About five years ago I met the mum of Jake Howes on Facebook and we have become very good friends. I feel that Jake and I have developed a special bond between us and I’m delighted to be part of this young lad’s life. It is so heartening to know that he is getting the best education and support from the same school that I did. Isn’t that amazing?”
Posted on: Thu, 01 Aug 2013 19:58:15 +0000
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