A brother asked me how to approached a sister because he is interested in marrying her. He sees her as a good potential wife.When I asked him whether he has done his homework on marriage (attend classes, read books, consult elders, etc.), he didn’t do any of that. He added that he thinks he is not ready for marriage yet.But, he wants to be halal for her.It is indeed a noble intention, but noble intention alone is not enough. Men who want to get married often focus on who they want to marry. They look at all the characteristics they want in a wife.Some might be too ideal and unrealistic in their ambition. Some might be downright offensive in their ambition (e.g. Do you want a wife or a maid?).In any case, much of the time the focus is too much on the potential wife. We obsess ourselves with finding the “perfect” woman. Sidenote: the is no such thing as a perfect woman.Yes, it is understandable that we want the “perfect” woman to be our lawfully-wedded wife and to be a righteous mother for our children.But do realize that the women themselves want the same as well. Just as we want the “perfect” wife, they want the “perfect” husband. Don’t get sidetracked in searching for a spouse while neglecting your own self-development. The two must go hand-in-hand.p/s: and vice versa. Anaa Niqqabbi Amatullaah
Posted on: Thu, 02 Oct 2014 17:55:03 +0000
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