A day in the life of Abracadabra girl. After crawling into bed at stupid oclock after baking and up at ridiculous oclock, Abracadabra girl arrives at Matlock Classic Car Rally as requested 3 hours BEFORE event opens. She puts on wellies (saves wet wiping her shoes every few minutes due to grass contamination) and erects gazebo. She lays out beautiful cakes . She puts sides on gazebo to shield from the black smoke pumping out of the generator at the next stall and regrets leaving icing sugar mask at bakery. Classic car blokes start arriving - surprisingly no-one mistakes her monster truck for classic car - must be the mud hiding its true beauty. Classic car blokes get out of their car and immediately polish it; then they open bonnet and polish engine; then they polish car again; then take photograph. They get out deck chair and picnic for a family of 8 (even though they are, of course, on their own and not in a relationship). They polish car. They talk to other car blokes either side of them. They look into engine of other car blokes They take photographs of other engines and cars. They polish own car again. Suddenly they get into own car and rev it dramatically. Smiling to themselves they get out of car and polish it. Abracadabra girl remembers having car that black smoke didnt bellow out of when you start it up. Classic car bloke doesnt venture any more than 3 foot from own car in case someone approaches with key question about the rotodecomfobulator. He has sign in car - xxxx car; made in xxxx; xxxx miles blah blah blah. Abracadabra girl makes pretend sign for her car. Land Rover Freelander 2006; 130,000 miles but seems much more due to poor driving skills of owner; excellent storage area for starbucks drinks; step ladder needed to access; was once black. After two hours a classic car owner approaches Abracadabra gazebo. She pretends she is interested in him and asks what car he has. BIG MISTAKE. 30 mins later she has been told about the blah blah blah 67 blah blah 6 manifold blah blah. She sees his mouth opening but cant understand any of the words. She smiles nicely and hopes he doesnt notice her yawning and reading book on iphone. She redoes lipstick and cleans wellies but he is still talking. Eventually she encourages him to leave by saying she thinks she can see an insect near his car. He runs back to car. Polishes it and takes a photograph. More classic car blokes arrive and a WOMAN. Abracadabra girl considers approaching her as she is obviously at wrong event. Abracadabra girl has to use portaloo. It makes the toilet on Trainspotting the movie look like a luxurious bathroom. She holds breath for too long and nearly passes out. She returns with cleaning materials from gazebo and portaloo is shiny and beautiful. Abracadabra girl makes decision after 4 hours and 2 sales and gazebo is down in record time and she zooms off to nearby market. Gazebo becoming very confused at this point. Gazebo up again. Cakes out. Sells all cakes in 30 minutes - the Chitty Chitty Bang Bang cupcakes suddenly very popular. Gazebo down again and as a punishment wont fit back into the car just to annoy Abracadabra girl. She leaves it hanging out boot and drives home with hazard lights on as cant be bothered to fight it. When home she gets polish out - approaches monster truck and polishes Starbucks holder.
Posted on: Sun, 08 Jun 2014 16:23:43 +0000
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