A different view on domestic violence... Which is worse, a broken bone or a broken spirit? In no sense or stretch of the imagination do I condone any form of violent expression toward a spouse or significant other...be it husband or wife/ boyfriend or girlfriend. With that being said, I believe its always important to be even handed in analysis and critique. Men and women are both equally perpetrators and victims of domestic violence toward one another. This is true because violence toward a spouse (or significant other) is not always physical and (with that in mind) much more challenging to detect. In a book entitled, What could he be thinking (by Michael Gurian), the author compared and contrasted the male and female brain, how they process, and (for the context of this post) how each brain manages or responds to anger. One eye opening nugget that I gleaned was that the male brain sends most of its energy toward the back of the brain when angry - this part of the brain is responsible for physical action. On the contrary, the female brain sends its energy to the front of the brain when angry - this part of the brain is responsible for communication. So, in essence, when a man becomes irritated, frustrated, or angry, his body prepares, responds and reacts physically. A woman when she becomes irritated, frustrated, or angry, her body prepares, responds and reacts verbally. So, men fight with fists and women fight with words. For the most part, when a woman is emotionally distressed in her relationship, she wants to communicate. For most men, when he is emotionally distressed in his relationship, he wants to take action. A woman might say in a relationship conflict, we need to talk, what do you have to say, or why wont you talk to me? Because most of his brain energy has been shifted to the back of his brain, his body is calibrated for a physical response and not verbal one. Conversely, a man in a relationship conflict would physically withdraw, or physically engage. So, because most of her brain energy has been shifted to the front of her brain, her body is calibrated for a verbal response not a physical one. When emotional stress is handled unhealthily, women typically hurt men internally while men typically hurt women externally. She wounds or injures his spirit and he wounds or injures her body...in most cases. I am saying all of this to say that we should always be concerned with not only what we see but also what we do not. Internal bleeding is just as dangerous and life threatening as external bleeding. The only difference...one you can see and bandage, the other you cannot.
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 19:40:20 +0000
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