A few months ago, a dear, sweet, teenaged friend stood up for my boy in a very public, very forceful way. I will never forget the love she had for my son, as she dressed down a peer for posting a picture thought to be of Eric, for the sole purpose of laughing with his friends at the photo and my son. I started this letter to that boy, and then found out that it was a case of mistaken identity. But the fact remains that this young man posted a photo of a peer he does not know, and laughed with his friends at it. And what does it matter that it was not *my* child that was being made fun of? Its our duty to protect all children. And so I put this out there: An Open Letter to the Young Man Who Chose to Post an Unauthorized Photo of My Autistic Son, For the Sole Purpose of Laughing at it With Your Friends: Dear Young Man (and yes, in case you’re wondering, I do know your real name): You and I have never met, and as far as my family members can recall, none of them have met you, either. But the other day you chose to post a photo of my fourteen year-old son Eric, and as is my understanding of the situation, though I did not see the photo myself, you and your friends laughed at it. I understand that often times we poke fun at things that we do not understand, so please allow me to introduce you to my son. Eric is an eighth grader at a nearby middle school. I’m sure you know which one. He is a kind, sweet, thoughtful young man who, when he was four years old, was diagnosed with autism. He was four, but almost from the beginning, I as his mother, feared something was not “right”. Autism is a developmental disorder (one that children are born with) that affects the brain’s ability to process information that we get through our five senses - touch, taste, smell, hearing, and sight - and in many cases like Eric’s, also causes severe anxiety. It also affects the person’s ability to interact with other people in what the majority of us would consider socially acceptable, predictable ways. This may cause the person with autism to “act funny”. And yes, Eric does act “funny.” But that’s not all. If you look more closely, Eric IS funny. He has a quick wit, and a wonderful sense of humor that is not diminished by what many consider to be his disability. He is also very smart. He is a gifted writer and storyteller, and has aspirations of being a published author one day, maybe sooner rather than later. He is adventurous. He is the one of my three sons who is most willing to help me out around the house, and accompany me on errands. He is, in many ways, more responsible than even his older brother. Why am I telling you all of this? So that hopefully you will see that though the photo you posted was a flat, 2-dimensional representation of someone you do not know, it was, after all, of a real, live person with thoughts, feelings, and plans for a future. He is a son, a grandson, a brother, a nephew, a cousin, a friend. Eric is loved and cherished by many, many family members and friends, many of whom are upset and angry that you would use his image for the purpose of bullying and belittling. Posting pictures online of people you do not know, without their permission, though fairly common, is NOT OKAY. This is something you would be wise to remember, and that could save you a lot of trouble in the future. You can choose to rise above, and not participate in this hurtful behavior. That choice is yours. Something else you may want to remember. Currently, the rate at which Autism Spectrum Disorder is being diagnosed, is one in every 68 children. 1 in 68, and every year, it’s rising, and the medical community has yet to find out exactly why. For every two classrooms in your school, this means there is *at least* one kid with ASD. This may not mean anything to you now, but if you plan to someday have children (or even just consider it a distant option), then the possibility exists that you, too, could have a child with autism. A child, a person of warm flesh and blood, who has thoughts, feelings, and wants to be liked and make friends just like everyone else, and for whom it may be very difficult. You dont know me, my family, or my friends. But most importantly, you do not know Eric. You may read this, or you may not. It may make you think twice, and it may not. You may care, or you may not. My hope, obviously, is the former of each of these, and that you learn to find that compassion and empathy that I hope is in you. My hope for you is that you learn someday soon to get to know people -really know them- before you judge them. And I hope you choose to never again laugh *at* anyone, choosing instead to laugh *with* them. Doesnt that sound so much more rewarding? Sincerely and Warmly, Erics Proud Mom
Posted on: Mon, 07 Jul 2014 01:52:31 +0000
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