A few months ago full of joy, pride, and hope... I took a trip to the salon and had my hair cut with a more artista flare. On that day, a day on the heels of a publication that had me astounded and an artistic comission that had me elated were born two small dread locks. On the left a dread that I envisioned as a bind against those who would harm me and negativity in general. The other I saw with hair tips wild and free seeking to draw upon all that was light and good and pure in the universe. I took my dreads out today in a sincere symbolic kind of way.... I look back on the time since they were bound and I wonder if at that moment I was a little too self proud.... for pride goeth before pain and a fall... and the eve of this years fall has not been dear or kind to me at all. Secure with all I desire at my beck and call... time and again Ive been tested to the limits of what body, mind, heart, or spirit can bear and so I fall.... My body lies here day after day gasping for breath hoping the fever goes away. The mind wrestles with issues of self worth... have I been giving all these years to soothe my own conscience of the light snuffed out and failed protection after the time of his birth? And have I really helped anyone at all or has it all been pride and vanity and this is why I fall? The heart seems to become a little more cracked every time I get attached, give and then fail to live up to what someone else thought I should be and so the dust and glass of my heart gets another stomp and anything left to crack is smashed.... like a once fine pipe flung at the wall in anger and then trampled underfoot again and again until there is little left to shatter and only bits to crinkle and crack. The spirit is weary of living in this torturous shell and since I bound my hair my body has taken that spirit straight to hell. My own blood lock me up in a looney bin. Gifts to those I thought were my dearest friends are discarded and regifted after the gift was given on the pretext of personal and medical need. I fall in love with a woman from afar (with the blessing of my mate) and end up with more cracks in my heart after months of careful planning... I wake to find Im just a pawn on her chessboard, a puppet on her string. While Im still secure in my peaceful home and beloved position... I took my dreads out today in a sad and symbolic way.... I noticed how they kept wanting to become unbound anyway... only the binding knots near my scalp wished to stay. It was painful and it felt a little wrong, but every tangle has been released from where my dreads once belonged. Sad, symbolic... but not giving up... just another bit of outward transformation as the steepness of my path tests me and goes up.
Posted on: Sat, 13 Sep 2014 22:19:19 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015