A few years back, theres a woman I knew. She was so amazing! Great intelligent mind, and quite honestly, she was everything I could ever want in a woman. We had such incredible connection, could talk about anything, and we could relate to much of what we shared with each other. Everything was great, but then something happened, we were talking, like we normally would, and then suddenly I went on a rant, got loud, and began to curse, out of frustration. Afterwards she stopped talking to me, just like that! I begged for an explanation, and she told me, I got scared. You flipped out, and got very loud, and began to curse. So I explained, I did, but not at you. I got mad, and cursed at this thing that drove me to become frustrated. So she said, I know, but if one day I make you frustrated, and you get mad at me? I believe I just witnessed the tip of the iceberg, and Im scared. Ive been in an abusive relationship before, and Im sorry, but Im very scared, so goodbye. I could not believe she threw everything away for such a petty reason! We had an amazing connection, one thats so difficult to find these days, and we really liked each other, so it left me in pure disbelief that she threw it all away for that little nothing! Time went on, never really satisfied with the outcome, but I got over it, and eventually began to get to see other women. Eventually I met someone amazing, one that I found so intelligent, had much in common with, and built a great connection with, but then one night we got into a simple disagreement, and it lead to her cursing me out, which immediately triggered bad memories! Suddenly, I was age 9 again, in a house filled drunken misogynist men who felt that women were inferior than they, so rather than speaking to their women, instead they gave them orders, and if the orders werent obeyed, then theyd be verbally abused, and if these women- my aunts didnt realize that this was only the tip of the iceberg, then unfortunately, eventually theyd get pregnant by these misogynists, and not only were they stuck with men who verbally abused them, but then physically abused them, but worse was that now there were children involved, and they not just witnessed, but were also abused. I witnessed these horrors so much, and as a kid kept telling myself: I will never grow up a coward, like these men. And, I will never build a home with a wife where wed disrespect each other, and the only way Ill be able to avoid this, is by watching the signs! So when she cursed me out, I left! She was left in awe, demanding an explanation as to why Id throw it all away, for what in her opinion was something so petty, and well, I got scared. Not afraid of you, per se, but of re-living the life I said I would never live! I had just witnessed the tip of the iceberg, and Im afraid to live like that, because if thats what marriage is about, then I rather be alone. So, now going back several years, if youre reading this, Mapuche, I want you to know that I understand now why you left. You witnessed the tip of the iceberg, and had the courage to leave before the entire iceberg surfaced, and swallowed us both into the miserable life filled with abuse... a life I dread! I respect you so much, and Im sorry I couldnt understand why you were afraid, back then. I wasnt mature enough. Either way, I hope you found a better man, or found happiness on your own. Sincerely, tu amigo Ricardo Ignacio.
Posted on: Sun, 28 Dec 2014 19:59:31 +0000
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