A friend of Sobriety Girl writes in ~~~> I’m a good mother good wife, friend, sister and daughter. But I have a problem that everyone in my family is trying to pretend isnt there. They know but no one says anything. I want to be better and know that I can be...I recently got in touch with an old friend I met while both at our worst and using a lot...we lost touch and things have gotten better I guess. She is clean and has come back around and is really helping me see what I want to be...I have this weighing heavily on my soul. I am an addict. It started with pills, about 3 years ago, I quit those for about 3 months partially because of the awful damage it did to my body. I was down to 80lbs, had my gallbladder removed and had chronic pancreatitis...I felt good clean, life was going to be ok...But things happened and with time, depression and loneliness I began slowly using again but not pills, dope. Now I’m stuck. I have never shot it and am consistent with about 4 bags a day, it’s been a little over a year now and I’m stuck. I want to be better so bad but am very scared. I’ve calmed down and leveled out a lot. My dad has passed away and I finally am working towards a relationship with my mom. I’m happy, but not inside - not like this. I can’t keep doing this but have to function every day and be a mom, and not just any momma; a good mom. This is slowly killing me and I don’t want to do this anymore...I recently got some subutex and really want to take those for a couple days and taper down a couple more days and be ok within a week or so...is this possible? Can I do this on my own again? How do I start? I never thought this would happen to me. I grew up in a very broken home and was abused. I’ve had a hard life and have made it thru. I have everything I have ever dreamed of and a man that loves me, for him, for my son, for me I need to do this. I’m very lonely and scared. Any advice would be welcome. Reading what you guys say everyday has been helping me a lot. I just need to do this once and for all. But how??Thank you So much Please no harsh words, I’m not a bad person.
Posted on: Fri, 25 Oct 2013 04:10:13 +0000
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