A friend of mine messaged me early this morning all upset. She said Some troll girl had made a post here on the Hub lastnight about me; suggesting that I was touchy feely at some comedy show a while back at the VFW and that I was also making creepy inapproprate gestures? Last week Frency The Moron did something similar. He made a post here saying that I beat my kids, cheat on my wife and do nothing but drink wine all day (That last parts true by the way, I loooooove my vino, cant deny it). My point is this, There are folks out there thatll hate on ya just for the sake of hating on ya and theyll lie out their ass if they think it can gain traction. With that being said, Id like to share some of the terrible things Ive done in life that are actually true so that they can at least have some ammo against me that holds validity. #1) Several years ago at the Dary Queen in Abington; I once challenged a 5 year old who tried to cut me in line to a fist fight. I said Little man, you just messed with the wrong freak. He then wussed out and ran to his mother waiting in the car. She then picked up where he left off. Words were exchanged, some icecream got tossed around and I was ordered to leave by management. True story, with witnesses that can be provided to anyone who doubts me. #2) In 2006 I got in an altercation in New Orleans with 7 guys dressed as Elvis on account of one of them spilling my beer. They were actually on the same flight back to Boston as I was; so the next day we fought again in the airport and Im no longer welcome in New Orleans. #3) I once pulled a uzi sub machine gun out on Dennis Petrantonio (not sure of the spelling) and made him strip down to his skivies cause I thought he stole $80 from me. Im still pretty sure it was him that did it but I cant prove it so Im willing to let it go. #4) I slept with my childhood best friend Allan Cayers sister back in 1980, I was 10 years old. I then slept with her again on a regular basis throughout the early 80s and again in 1991. It was great and I learned a lot from that girl but thats no way to treat your best friend and for that Im sorry Allen. Youre a nice guy and I hope you still aint mad bout all that. #5) I stole the Nick Comedy Stop sign from the Maui resturant and they aint never getting it back. #6) Last year durring the ellections, I put an Ellect Michelle DuBois bumper sticker on Paul Beckers truck. #7) 20 years ago, me and some friends tried to hire a stripper and it turned out to be a police officer. #8) Ive done some things with small improvised explosives that I aint too proud of but that was a long long time ago and I still say the guy that owned that car was a racist who had it coming. #9) In 1983 I almost burned down Saint Edwards Chrurch on Main Street and when I was questioned about it I tried to blame Timmy Stanton; who is now a ranking police officer who sometimes gives me dirty looks when I see him. Im sorry bout that Timmy, that was wrong of me. #10) On the day I graduated from Brockton High I rearrainged the Good Luck Class of 89 sign at Brockton High School to read something vulger that I wont repeat here today. #11) Charlie Losby once beat the bejusus out of me one night after a hockey game against my team and his, so the next day I put sugar in his gas tank and ruined his car. I aint sorry bout that one, I never liked Charlie. #12) Between the years 1982 and 1985; I urinated in every swimming pool on the north side of Brockton including the public one on Montello Street several times. Anyway, there you go haters, have a ball, but please, pretty please with a cherry on top, show some self respect and stick to the true stuff.
Posted on: Fri, 09 Jan 2015 15:46:12 +0000