A friend (who is also an ex-husband) made a comment that really made me think. Since he once knew me well and is a good man, I seriously considered his opinion about difficult personalities Ive written about recently. He was referring to my posts about Angry Man at Art Festival who Hated my Dog, Man by Elevator Door, Woman at Spiritual Retreat who Biblically Cursed Me, and Angry Audience Member, among others. He gently suggested I might be encountering assholes because Im being one myself. It sounded logical because its partly true, but theres more to it. Each of those people are important to me, and I kind of I love them. They show me the broken places in me that need healing, the insecurities that cause my reactions, and they also help me recognize my strength and courage. And I dont believe any encounter is accidental. I recently went to a spiritual retreat on a subject I wasnt that interested in, given by a man about whom I knew nothing, and which was being held all the way across the country. But something told me to go, so I did. It was kind of a snooze fest, but in the last five minutes of the retreat, I met Flicker and had an extremely unsettling encounter. As far as Im concerned, the entire purpose of the trip could have been that five-minute experience. Im embarking on a new level of work that requires all the courage I can muster. I find myself in lots of new situations, surrounded by people with different world views than my own, and this leads to some interesting interactions. I think these encounters are coming fast and furious because of the sense of urgency I feel about what I need to do; the way needs to be cleared, and fast. If I were to come across any of these individuals now, I would thank them, though something tells me they might not accept me with open arms, lol. But I wouldnt change my experiences with them, and I could never think of them as assholes for what they did, because they are my teachers and theyre important to me. I appreciate the friend who brought up this issue,because it helped me look at these situations for what they are and it made me feel grateful for the opportunities Im being given to change and grow, and fully embrace my work.
Posted on: Fri, 10 Oct 2014 08:17:22 +0000
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