A half-day’s life of a Kenyan member of Parliament. 6:00 am: wakes up in his mistress’s house and checks his iphone if there are any messages from other MPs and more importantly, the leader of the party he has tagged himself into unashamedly. 6:15 am: Trudges into the bathroom and have a nice shower (whilst thinking how to steal more money and how to secure deals to enrich himself). Remember, this person is primarily motivated by material wealth and don’t be gulled by his title, public service is not on his mind. 6:30 am: Tucks away greedily a mammoth breakfast delivered by his driver and members of his security entourage. Peruse the two main daily papers, but confines his thoughts to issue pertaining to MPs’ pay and remuneration. Makes a fleeting glance at political news, especially those affecting his overlord’s interest or standing. 7:00 am: leaves the mistress’s house fairly pleased with his lot and is driven in a tinted limousine to ‘work’ aka the Parliament building (where all sense of morality has been expunged years ago). Alights from the car, enters the den of pigs and heads straight to the trough sorry the canteen for gossips and more food (pigs are never satisfied beast). 9:00 am: breakfast is officially over and he heads to the chamber of the house to take part in ‘debates’ (a school debating society is 100 times better that this lot). Finds the debates vert ‘boring’, because they are not about MPs’ pay and benefits. But to maintain favours with the big boys (political leaders), he remains around and makes the odd noise in favour of his ultimate political backer (without this support, he would never have set a foot here). 11:00 am: time for tea and other niceties courtesy of the poor taxpayer. Mingles with other MPs in the canteen hall and the issue in his mind is how to steal money or secure deals for himself. He moves from one desk to another desk in this process (remember, there is life and money to be made once he loses his seat in the future). 12:00 pm: the bell rings for MPs to go to the lobby for the voting process on a matter affecting politicians or to do with voting or electoral process (perhaps a bill about a referendum on a political [personal issue for these clowns] point). But our MP is too lazy to get excited about this and decides an early buffet in the canteen is more appealing to him. Unfortunately the phone starts to buzz with messages from his political party aka political vehicles that he should be avail himself in the lobby fairly quickly. As he faint-heartedly walks to the lobby, his thought is still occupied greatly by money, money and money. 13:00 pm: time for a deserved lunch courtesy of the poor taxpayer of course. Half of the day is gone, that is a Kenyan MP for you.
Posted on: Tue, 20 Aug 2013 07:38:04 +0000