A husband and wife go visit a marriage counselor. First, the wife speaks to the counselor alone. The counselor asks, You say youve been married 20 years, so what seems to be the problem? The wife replies, Its my husband -- hes driving me crazy! Im going to leave him if he continues! How does he drive you crazy? For 20 years, she says, hes been doing these stupid things. First, whenever we go out, hes always looking at the floor and refuses to go near anyone. Its very embarrassing. The marriage counselor is amused, Anything else? He keeps picking his nose all the time! Even in public! Hmm, anything else? The wife hesitates, whenever were making love, he NEVER lets me be on top! Once in a while, Id like to be in control! Ah, says the counselor, I think Ill talk to your husband now. So the wife goes out of the room and the husband enters. The counselor tells him, Your wife says that youve been driving her crazy. She might even leave you. The husband looks shocked, WHAT? For 20 years Ive been loving and considerate and Ive always given her what she wants! What could be the problem? The counselor explains, She says that youve got these habits that are driving her crazy. First, youre always acting strange in public--looking at the floor and never going near anyone else. The husband looks concerned, Oh, you dont understand! Its one of the few things my father told me to do on his death bed and I swore Id obey everything he said. What did he say? He said that I should never step on anyones toes! The counselor looks amused, Actually, that means that you should not do anything that would cause anyone else to get angry. The husband looks sheepish, Oh. Okay. The counselor continues, And you keep picking your nose in public. Well, its another thing my father specifically commanded me to do! He told me to always keep my nose clean. The counselor looks faint, That means that you should not indulge in any criminal activity. Oh, says the husband looking very stupid. And finally, she says that you never allow her to be on top during your lovemaking. This, says the husband seriously, is the last thing my father commanded me to do on his deathbed and its the most important thing. What did he say? The husband replies, In his dying breath, he said, Dont screw up
Posted on: Wed, 14 Jan 2015 21:50:03 +0000
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