A letter I am writing to Pret A Manger after suffering YET ANOTHER food tragedy at their hands. Dear Mr (or Mrs) Pret A Manger I like to think that I give everyone a second chance in life, no matter how badly they have wronged me. Unless, you know, they killed someone I loved or something suitably terrible. However, in this instance, I cannot forgive, nor can I give a second chance. The reason behind my forthright stubbornness is this; your “mushroom” soup. Now, being a regular visitor to Pret A Manger ( I work right next door to a branch), you have fulfilled my appetite respectfully, on a number of occasions, particularly when I couldn’t be bothered to prepare my own lunch. For those times I thank you wholeheartedly. However, you may recall, over a year or so ago, I was unfortunate enough to almost eat a spider which I found in a tub of grapes. I wrote to you, and to your credit, you sent me a rather nice letter of apology and a £20 gift card. Which I then proceeded to use, so evidently there were no hard feelings on my part. That was then. This is now. With the weather in London currently so abysmal, I decided that a hot soup would suffice as my food of choice for lunch. I opted for what I thought was your mushroom soup. How very, very wrong I was. I would like to bring to your attention a cultural reference, (although to which echelon of society this would be regarded as an aspect of culture is not something I would like to guess at). A film made by two young ladies, (well, not what I would class as a lady but that is personal choice) featuring the usage of fecal matter as a foodstuff. This fecal matter is then regurgitated by one of the young ladies in the form of vomit and, once again, ingested by the other. Now, I bring this to your attention so that you can get a good, vivid mental image of what the “mushroom” soup I purchased from your store looked like. It was wholly reminiscent of the bodily by products present in said film. Of course, I can only cast opinion on the sight of the soup, having not participated in the eating of another human beings’ faeces or stomach contents it wouldn’t be fair to make a guess at how they taste. Neither shall I be participating in such practices any time soon. To add insult to injury, the “mushrooms” which you profess to have made the soup from look rather too similar to slugs for comfort. Of course, I didn’t taste the soup, I trust my senses, sight in particular, to guide me down the right path in life. Please do not take my letter as a personal affront. I merely wish to inform you that the “natural” food preparation practices you profess to use on your packaging probably were taken a little too literally by whichever member of staff prepared my soup. Might want to watch out for that one, they’re probably a bit loopy. Yours, Scarlett McKeown P.S – Please do not send me another gift card - I will only accept cash this time. P.P.S – Just found out Pret A Manger is owned by McDonalds – all the pieces are falling into place – mega LOLZ!
Posted on: Wed, 12 Jun 2013 13:40:43 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015