A lot of talk has been going down at my pay toilet parlors on what new items well be putting on the menu this season. This is a real balancing act, because while there are some things people like to eat while peeing or defecating, others prefer other foods, and, indeed, there are those who prefer not to eat while waiting for their bowels to move or bladder to let loose. We now serve several good things from our Choco Cookie candy machine, including, of course, Choco Cookies, bland mints, Sugar Babies, Chocolate Smegma Bars, and Rice a Roni (The San Francisco Treat for our Gay Brothers). Outside, on the sidewalk on the corner of Church and Nebraska Streets our grill service has corn dogs, hot pants, monkey milk, ham and cheese on bagel, and fruit from the garbage. Right now, our studies show that we are getting a positive reaction from our clientele on our grill items, but that perverts and midgets would like to see more food that is keeping with their own customs. So starting next week, after I get back from Vegas (where I operate one pay toilet behind the old Mint Hotel downtown) I will begin serving the following new items; clams in mint sauce, chocolate pie (recipe is secret!), muffin tops, fried chicken from my ass, coffee, and free tooth picks from army surplus. This certainly does not fit everyones taste, but by adding here and there, and allowing our customers to sling their bodily wastes around their heads in a napkin while reciting incantations from the Talmud I think well make most people happy. Oh, and by the way, next week is our yearly gun sale. Half price to children under six! See Ya There!
Posted on: Wed, 29 Jan 2014 16:44:53 +0000
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