A man is wandering, lost in the desert when he comes upon a small town. Being thirsty and exhausted, he looks for the nearest inn. Soon enough, he finds one and stumbles in. Water, he mumbles to the bartender, holding up two fingers and glancing at the sign that reads Free Water. As soon as the waters arrive, he gulps both of them down. You must be thirsty, eh? grins the bartender. The man, feeling rejuvenated, nods. Grab me a beer, would you? he asks. The bartender slides one over and he chugs it, relishing the cold liquid. At the end of a few hours, the man has racked up quite a large bill. He yawns and gets up to stretch and leave, but is stopped by a hand on his shoulder. Howre you gonna pay for that? growls the now-hostile bartender. Oh! laughs the man in surprise. Sorry, I completely forgot! Let me just... He trails off, realizing with a feeling of dread that his pouch is empty. You have to pay, the bartender tells him angrily. I know, I know, I just, give me a second, stalls the man in desperation. Suddenly, an idea pops into his head that just might work. Ill tell a story! he declares. Trust me! Itll be a great story. This piques the bartenders interest, as he hasnt heard a new story in years of being in the town. Alright. And Ill toss in a free room for the night, he grunts. Well, sit down and get started. So the man sits on a barstool and begins to weave a wonderful story with magic and dragons and fantasy, and near the end, every patron in the small inn is listening. However, the story ends with a huge anticlimax, and everyone groans to themselves as the group disperses. What was that? roars the bartender, but the man has already gone up to his room. The next morning, when the man emerges from the stairwell, the bartender is there, cleaning mugs. That story was so disappointing last night, son, he grumbles. Im sorry, Im sorry, says the man. Ill make up for it tonight if you give me another night here. The bartender agrees, and they part on good terms. That evening, everyone gathers around to hear another story. The man begins to speak, talking of steel and guns and war, but alas! this story, too, ends in a terribly disappointing anticlimax. Look, buddy, snarls the bartender, pulling the man aside. If you tell one more damn story like that, Im gonna take you out into the desert- He makes a gun with his fingers. And shoot ya. The man nods, terrified for his life. But if you tell a good story, then Ill give you three nights and as many free drinks as you want. The man nods again and scampers away, only returning much later. That night, everyone crowds around again, looking interested and impatient. The man takes a deep breath and starts to speak of a forest and animals and elves. Halfway through, he falters, glancing at the bartender, who slides his finger across his throat threateningly. Shaken, he continues, sparing the occasional glance at the bartender, who glares at him each time. Predictably, this one ends with the worst anticlimax of all. So the bartender takes the man out into the desert and shoots him.
Posted on: Tue, 23 Dec 2014 15:49:35 +0000