A mothers sorrow, a mothers pain, her turmoil of not truly being able to fully protect her children. Not having control of their future. As much as we think we can shield them from the truths of the world or the pain of their hurt, we can only stand by and hold them. We hug them when they are sad, rub their faces when they are sick, and celebrate them when they are down and are there to watch them grow and pick them up when they stumble and fall. Today these emotions flooded over me so quickly, that even Makayla who was just taking pictures of Charlie and I, didnt notice when I started crying. As a mom you are supposed to be the strong one, the one that tells your children everything is going to be ok. Youre supposed to be their sanctuary when everything is crumbling down. However, I lost control of my emotions, I broke and when I looked to my sanctuary I truly felt the arms of The Lord wrap around me. He held me, while I held Charlie and the warmth and peace filled our room and there was a place of comfort. Then Charlie stuck her tongue out and laughter filled the air. In our family, whenever one of us is crying or having a moment, we tend to laugh it off by making faces at each other. It just goes to show that even at just 4 months old, she is so much a part of our family and just like the rest of us. I think the one thing throughout this process that is so beautiful, is how through our sorrow and pain we are shown such laughter and love in the world. This journey is one that I honestly wouldnt change, as much as I wish Charlie didnt have a sick heart, I know God is with her. One day when she returns back to her actual home in heaven, her heart will be restored, but Im grateful that God chose our family to be able to be shown the beauty in the world and be able to spread that beauty to all of you! Thank you for riding this ride with us, praying and loving us throughout it all!
Posted on: Thu, 20 Nov 2014 06:10:48 +0000
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