A night of deep thoughts for me: I read something today about balancing family and work -- in this case, music. My own life has never been a choice about doing music for a living. It was just that most of the time, the only doors opening had music on the other side. It was often a choice of doing it to pay the bills. Sometimes, it was like Groundhog Day -- just repeating the same four or five sets a night. It didnt seem like there was any growth at all. I didnt need the recognition and the status of being recognized. Its just not that important. For my family, I would have gladly given up music for a decent job with benefits so that I could have given my family more, but it just didnt happen. I always felt more like a scientist, exploring sound and its effects on people, and hearing strange combinations together. Trout Mask Replica was, to me, like research. I was so excited by the prospects of these different rhythms and dissonant chords being played in such a structured manner that I was able to overlook the downside of the situation. When I met Frank Zappa, I felt a kindred spirit in him in that respect. In fact, the vice-principal at my High School, Ernie Tosi, said, You remind me of a student I had a few years ago named Frank Zappa. He told me about Franks music and his painting on movie film, and that he was just always trying something new. I didnt realize at the time what a compliment this was -- as Frank was someone of whom I had no knowledge until a couple of years later when Freak Out was released. The truth is -- and most musicians know this -- society puts a stigma on musicians/artists and once you are established as one, its very hard to shake it. If I had taken a full-time day job, I absolutely believe that I would have kept on doing music and would have had the resources to buy what I needed and would have probably created much more music and much better music than I have. But, in the job interview, when that interviewer reads recording artist on the resume, I can see in his/her eyes that theyve already canceled me out. So, I took the route of working a part-time job for a friend (Mario Grossi), and doing The Magic Band also. Dont get me wrong, doing TMB music has been really wonderful -- re-tracing my own roots and introducing it to a whole new generation besides making a lot of older Beefheart fans very happy has been a very special and fulfilling time. But I can also see Dennys side of the situation. He said he felt it was time to move on. I can certainly understand the feeling of wanting to express myself in my own music, and knowing that the possibility of that happening is quite remote without some kind of miraculous event. But, miracles have happened, so I will be patient and wait upon the next one. Whether it takes me back into playing in a re-formed Magic Band, performing my own music, or just withdrawing from performance and writing, Im sure Ill be content -- with or without an audience.
Posted on: Thu, 13 Nov 2014 05:57:59 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015