A note about kindness: Something that Ive learned in the last few years is that we truly do not know what someone elses story is. We dont know what is motivating them to behave a certain way (rudeness, haste, disrespect). One thing Ive learned is to offer kindness and benefit of the doubt, no matter the situation. Using this perspective isnt letting that person off the hook. Its not about giving them the opportunity to be (rude, crass, hateful) or the permission to stay in that pattern. Instead, its about giving ourselves the chance to not stress over any given situation. It allows us the *freedom* to not remain frustrated, ticked, overwhelmed at others behavior. Here are some every day examples that I used to struggle with and I see others talking about daily. Maybe just consider one and see if it will help you let go of some stress, especially as we head into the holiday season: √ The clerk who was rude at the checkout counter: Maybe he/she just received awful news about a family member, and they cant leave work early to tend to the news out of fear of losing their job or not being able to pay bills. √ The person who just cut you off in traffic: Perhaps he/she is in a rush to get to the hospital for a variety of reasons. √ The telemarketer who has called during dinner: He/She is just doing their job...to pay their bills, buy their kids some gifts, and to find a sense of balance, just like the rest of us. √ The person who publicly displays an opinion different than yours: Maybe he/she feels insecure and uses this as a way to feel better. Chances are their public display has little or nothing to do with your differing opinion. Or maybe their opinion is so strong to them that its their truth...just like yours is for you. Will commenting/arguing change yours or theirs? Nope. Will it cause stress to skyrocket? You betcha. √ The person who looks different than you: Is just following a different path. Whether he or she has tattoos or piercings or has extra (or fewer) pounds. It doesnt make them good, bad, or indifferent. It just makes them...THEM. They arent looking a certain way to trod on your preferences. They are looking a certain way to celebrate their own. These are ALL areas that used to stress me almost every single day. From long diatribes I would post about my opinion to getting immensely ticked when someone in customer service wasnt very service-y, I spent most of my days pretty fired up. And for what? It didnt serve me. Instead, it projected an image about ME that wasnt really accurate. I learned that my frustration was MY problem...not theirs. As we enter the holiday season, take less time thinking about what we see and spend more time thinking about how WE feel. Its a journey worth trying. :)
Posted on: Sun, 17 Nov 2013 15:22:14 +0000