A person in your life who truly cares about you is automatically concerned about your well-being, all areas of your well-being. That takes precedence over their need to be right. (Believing that one is right doesnt mean its so. But even that is less important than anothers well-being.) This requires them to listen to you when you speak, hear what youre saying, and ask questions to learn more so they can get a better understanding. They would not assume that they know everything about your situation from their own glimpses, and they would not dismiss what youve told them as if youre making it up, making excuses, or exaggerating. It doesnt mean they have to turn their point of view into yours and forget their own thoughts and feelings. It doesnt even mean that they have to completely believe everything youve described as if its engraved as fact in stone. It does mean that they need to make an effort to hear you, and to learn more, so they can have a clearer understanding of what your situation actually is, not what they believe it is. This is true especially if they feel compelled to give advice. The mark of a Controller is that he or she believes that he or she can see the whole picture, (your whole picture), has ALL the important information (so no learning, questions, or clarifications are required), and that he or she can see it and assess it WITHOUT your input, experience, knowledge, history, or information. They tend to base their assumptions about others on their OWN experiences, instead of grasping that THEIR life is not YOUR life; YOU are not simply a different or lesser version of THEM, or another version of someone else theyve known. If they arent interested in learning about your situation, or accepting information thats uncomfortable for them about your situation, they arent capable of giving personal advice, guidance, or criticism.
Posted on: Wed, 26 Nov 2014 11:15:48 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015