A quote from Hunter S. Thompson on finding your purpose in life, written in a personal letter to a despairing friend: As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal) he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires). ... In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. I have had many different goals in life, many different points Ive wanted to reach and then finally reached. I have often seen those goals lose their charm as I neared them, often become disillusioned with the goal on my way towards it. I wanted, desperately, to go to India and see how people lived their lives outside my bubble. I wanted to become familiar with their culture and with poverty. I thought that made living with less material comforts would bring forward a spirit in people that I couldnt find in Sweden. And in complete contradiction with that hypothesis, I also wanted to be touched to the depths of my soul by that poverty, be moved to become as saintly as Mother Theresa in my efforts. Neither of those things occurred. I saw that a radically different (material) reality from my own was possible. I was both moved and hardened by poverty. I walked by countless beggars on my way to the market. But my goals of saintliness and spiritual insight evaded me. I went to university to study International Development, hoping to find solutions to the problems I had encountered in India. My education would explain it all, all the complex things I couldnt wrap my head around, give me solutions and a clear direction. Nope. My worldview morphed into something truly disillusioned as what I had perceived as a language barrier was shown to be a complicated and oppressive system of colonisation, imperialism and Eurocentrism on my behalf. It sure as hell didnt give me any clear direction. One thing Ive always wanted to be is a writer. Ive always romanticised that profession, hoped that I would gain wisdom to impart through beautifully woven stories. I still want that. Why do you think Im writing this? But I have learnt, slowly, that its not that end goal I should be working towards, but working towards enjoying the process a little more each day. This is a different way of saying the world needs people who have come alive. When we are at a point when we enjoy most days (no-one can love every single day, life throws to much shit at you for that), where we feel balanced and well, we can start building other things out of that wellbeing, that aliveness. We can start setting goals, but not the kind that our entire wellbeing hangs on. We can become effective activists. Once I enjoy my daily life, Ill be able to ask myself how that life can be bent to my will to make the world better. So now the question for me isnt what goals I have in life, but what days I am the happiest and how I can work on making more of my days like that. I think it might have to do with food. And writing.
Posted on: Mon, 20 Oct 2014 22:17:05 +0000
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