A rather long letter to my late bro Chris aka Baba Mitchelle gi Jaqueline Chris, koro? Did kina fathe say hi after I wrote them awhile back? Hehehe, hawaijasoma, just like you wont read this either. I am sure you have no idea what fb is... wait, hata mobile phone hukuona. Now you see why we said gone too soon? Nowadays we dont write letters and send via posta kama kitambo. We no longer have to get dehydrated lickin stamps and envelopes then waiting for 2 months to hopefully get a reply. By the way, only Shaddie experienced mobile telephony before he left... even Mike didnt. But, yall went too early bana. Kwani there was something free huko? You typical Kenyans! Vitu vya bure. Anyway, Ill come show you mobile phones, tabs etc... in about 100 years from today. How are kina fathe and mathe by the way? I remember watching you, Mike and Shaddie practice martial arts in the garage... hata mimi siku hizi ni otero! Do you know Bre looks exactly like you! Shes beautiful... ok, you, you were handsome... aaa you get the point. Back to Bre... beautiful, dark skinned, big cute eyes and really slim... like 1KB. Just like you! Kwani, minyoo are hereditary? All the food you ate... and she eats; it goes to the hair only? And dont you dare say even I am slim... at least me I am 1MB. Bre is now an executive in some big corporate here in Nai... am so proud of her! Ngoja, imagine last year they were paid Dec salo with... a... wait for it... a bottle of wine!! Yaani, yawa! 1 bottle kende! Si hata theyd have given them a crate each with some bread. Anyway, so thats Bre for now. Oh wait, her name Mitchelle... shes usually called michele, michael etc. Kwanza in Tz when they read the name in her passport she was almost thrown off the ferry ati wapi michael? Wewe sio michael! Lets talk about Charlotte... at least she doesnt need to carry stones in her pockets to avoid flying away. Oh, ama its coz of the olwendas she ate as a kid? Coming to think of it, even Obi Patrick ate a lot of olwendas. I am sure Winnie didnt know this (I call them OWL= Obi + Winnie + Linda). Charlo and Obi are a lot alike even in color schemes... they are not tinted like uumm... like.... Mercia. Weee, me am very white... so white I nicely blend in with... yyyeah! So, Charlotte also known in some circles as Chag-alot (vegetable milk... hehehe) has 2 sweeeeet daughters... Charlene and Merlene! You would have loved them so much! Charlene looks like Glado small (Mercias daughter) and they somehow look like Angel and Kathy (my daughters; yeah, I am married!) and all of them look like Glado... which is really weird! Kwani she has some dominant look alike gene? By the way, how did you and kina Mike get me the nickname Squared? I guess thats something you will have to tell me in... 120 years from today. Back to Charlotte... she now works for Kenya Powerless Laziness; but I cant understand why she gets black outs? Thats cannibalism! Kwani she cant get a transformer kwa handbag akaange nayo? Is it true ati fathe used to punish you guys interestingly for banging doors? That youd stand there... closing and openin the door 100 times while he stood by with a cane. And if the door even squeeked youd get a whooping and start a fresh? Eish, fathe! Mlikipata! By the way, did he teach you to cook ugali like he taught me? Hed show me how to properly dwalo it so that the flour mixes well. But, manze, he used to force me to eat fried eggs those days when I hated eggs! Hed even mix it in the sukuma... did he also treat your eyes with black tea? It kinda worked. Ai fathe had medical inventions yawa! Bro, I still remember how mathe would take us to the woodley stadium to watch you play football and wed be screaming BRATHE!!!! even when you didnt even have the ball. Wait, half the time we couldnt even see you on the pitch. Did you use to hear us? You made me love football even if fathe was opposed to it. Do you know I broke my wrist playing football once with kina Agnes and kept silent for 3 days coz I feared fathe would skin me alive?! He eventually found out, but didnt kill me after all. He must have figured Id suffered enough. Can you imagine I no longer love football like before? I dont even know the teams! When people are talking foota Im always like ........ zzzzzz ........ By the way, if I become toothless before I hit 150 years its your fault with mathe... you 2 made me love fudge, Cadburys fruit and nut and Crunch... basically anything that had LOTSA SUGAR! I have cut down drastically of late for no good reason. I no longer clear a whole box of chocolates or packets of sweets. But eeee, biscuits.... well, lets admit biscuits are really addicted to me! By the way, did you also have insomnia like me? Or did it also come with digital tech? Haki, its boooring! I am on coldcap 2 caps since late afternoon yet no sleep even now. Did you know I was a hawker for like 2 years? True story even kina Lorraine, Joyc can verify. I sold ties, knives, spoons while I lived in Uthiru... some place called Gathondeki. The rent was like 1500 but that was a prayer project! Hehehe, the plot of like 20 pple had one pit latrine and a bathroom outside with swing doors... the doors swung in both directions so we had to sing when inside. And the power was disconnected from 8am- 7pm... if the landlord remembered. Wawawa, the rats!!!??? Cats and dogs saluted them... they were built like bouncers! Anyway, gotta go. Miss you sana bro with your hilarious jokes to which you never even smiled. Till we meet again in... eee... 135 years. Hehehe naongeza miaka... Ps 91 says with long life God will satisfy me! Sema kuchukua advantage. Big up... I mean gotea... yaani, hi to the rest up there.
Posted on: Wed, 21 May 2014 20:37:18 +0000
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