A reply to our complaint of Blakes trike being badly damaged on arrival. Salaams brother Please see the attached email from a customer. Would/could we replace this for Saturday at all or shall I offer to send the spare parts [not sure what part the first picture is] but not sure what the twisted frame is all about and is there a fix for the steering not being aligned? Or replace some parts and then give a discount for the scratched frame? Why do they build it even though its not up to scratch? I dont understand? And why do they put their children before everything else especially when they are so young... life if full of disappointments and the sooner they find out the better lol! Our reply Firstly let me thank you for pointing out the error of my ways in your previous email. It is of course wrong of me to want my first born son and heir to my kingdom to be able to enjoy and celebrate the first year of his life with a gift that works and is undamaged. You can imagine my embarrassment after reading your email pointing out my naivety in erecting the damaged goods so at least he had something to open up on his birthday. Instead, as you expertly pointed out, I should have introduced him to the disappointment the rest of his life is undoubtedly going to be. So instead I produced a slideshow depicting his life as a pointless and joyless walk towards his passing, filled with so much despair, desolation and anguish that he will welcome his death as a sweet release. I rounded the day with a bowl of gruel and a sound beating to totally deprive his innocent mind of any pleasure or expectation. I have listed below the answers to the thought provoking and astute questions raised in your email • Why build something that is damaged? I incorrectly thought I had answered this question in my first email but the enigma that is your mind was undoubtedly engrossed in some metaphysical debate with itself. Again I state that it was so he had something to open to mark the day a year earlier he had arrived on this soul destroying planet. • Why do I put his well being before everything else? Again, an error on my behalf, I should instead spend my time improving my knowledge of 18th century dress wigs and let the little man discover the pitfalls of this world on his own, relying on Darwins theory of survival of the fittest to get him though.....or maybe its because Im a mother that loves her son and that is just something you do!!!! Hopefully this has answered your queries, now if you could address mine. Mainly why the tricycle I paid £90 for arrived like it had been used on manoeuvres in Afghanistan. If it had been sent by a catapult I can understand its condition however as a nice delivery man brought it to my door in an undamaged box fully bubble wrapped erectedI feel it more likely that; • it was used to carry an orphaned donkey between African villages in order to find him a new mother. OR • It has been erected previously, damaged,then been dismantled and sent to me for my sion in order to offer a physical representation of the pain of life. Either way I now want a full refund and I will not be dismantling the damaged goods to send back as this will interfere with my research of 18th century dress wigs. You are completely welcome to come and collect the tricycle at your convenience, yet if I am not in when you call dont be annoyed as you quoted life is full of disappointments. How you wish to rectify the situation from this point I will leave in your under qualified hands. I look forward to being disappointed by your speedy response. Regards, April Egan
Posted on: Mon, 17 Mar 2014 15:14:18 +0000
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