A teenager full of anger, pain and rage stared at the wall as I tried to help him feel safe so he would let me inside of his world. He was in counseling because of his violent rages and desire to kill people. He also had plans to soon end his own life. I desperately wanted to help him. I saw his pain. I knew there were wounds and seeds that were driving the hate and rage. I knew that we could find them together and his pain could be healed. But he held the keys to his own hearts prison. I needed to somehow find a way inside. I began by telling him that I really believed he was a good kid. I told him I believed he had been hurt and those wounds were what was causing so many problems in his life. I told him I really believed we could stop the pain, without him ending his life. I explained the simple garden analogy and told him I believed we all have gardens. In our gardens we all have weeds and flowers. The weeds represent the things in our lives that we do that cause pain and problems for our lives and others. The flowers represent those things in our lives that we do that cause happiness and joy in our lives and for others. In our gardens those weeds and flowers all started from tiny seeds that were planted when we believed something that was true or false about our lives. As we grew up, those seeds were watered, each time those beliefs were reinforced. I explained to him those things he was doing in his life that he didnt like and caused so much pain were simply there because of something he was believing. I asked him if he would let me dig for that seed so we could pull it up once and for all. I also told him that I had weeds in my garden too!! Everyone has weeds! I reminded him that I really believed he was a good kid and that his garden was beautiful. I also believed we could clean those weeds out and his garden could be restored to a happy, peaceful place. Within seconds the boy faced me. His eyes told me he wanted out of his internal prison. His heart was willing to try. I soon discovered this boy had been bullied his whole life. He said he knew he had always been different. Everyone seemed to have known that but him. Each time he tried to reach out and find a friend, he was laughed at and made fun of. The seeds in his life were slowly growing into weeds, that soon began to grow like wildfire. To protect himself from the pain, he began to bully others. It was much easier to reject them before they ever had a chance to reject him. No! He wouldnt have it. He would destroy them before they ever had a chance to destroy him! He couldnt feel that pain again. It was like a deep black hole in the universe that tried to consume him. Each time he would bully others, his self-confidence would grow. He felt an empowerment he had never felt before. The strength that was growing inside began to feed him, like a powerful drug. He had also learned how to shut off his emotions. He became apathetic to weak people. Because of how pathetic he felt when he was bullied, he began to project those feelings onto those he bullied. They were also weak and pathetic in his mind. Their life wasnt valuable. The anger was the only emotion he could feel. Everything became numb except for the anger. The anger felt good, especially inside of a numb world. The anger became a high that he longed for. When we discovered the seed that was driving all of these feelings and problems, it was that he wasnt loved. He had also believed he was worthless. I asked if he believed in God. He said he didnt really believe in anything but he knew that something was out there. I explained to him that I knew that Something that was out there and that it was powerful and loving. I asked if he would allow that Something to speak to him. Within seconds, that boy heard something. A tear rolled down his expressionless face. He told me that he heard he was loved and that his life was valuable. He also heard that he was different and others just didnt understand it. He was created special and would do great things with his life. This young man discovered something that day that would forever change his life. When Something spoke truth to him, that sad seed had to go. A happy seed was quickly planted in its spot and several weeds were destroyed that day. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. The Truth Sets Us Free seeddigging
Posted on: Sun, 28 Sep 2014 15:46:04 +0000
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