A very common story for those who woke up and walked out. The described psychological retention mechanics are consistent with other accounts. Years of blind obedience does take a toll and you begin asking yourself why you were supporting all these causes that, for all intents and purposes, you had no part in, save your monetary input. Being at CHC was never a simple matter of believing in God. You had to put your trust behind the leadership too, if not, you were ostracised. Never directly, of course - non-adherents would be “talked to” by leaders. Questioning the leadership was also tricky business at CHC. There was that sense of self-censorship, regulation between peers and finally, top-down pressure to conform. I once asked why do we pray for things if Christians were to simply follow God’s will. It was answered unsatisfyingly. The leader ended the conversation by praying for me to have greater faith to overcome this “doubt” that I had. This began a journey of more questioning for me, though I no longer voiced it out, lest I was dismissed as being faithless.
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 13:04:56 +0000
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